Category: Top Stories
The Righteous Make Sure Message of Hate Not Lost on Disaster Victims
Andy Wass stands in a rubble pile that was recently his living room and makes stabbing motions at the sky with the pink flyer he holds in his work gloved hand. Andy is laughing. “Says here ‘God punishes Fag Lovers.’…
Former GOP Candidates May Have Been Raptured
MCLEAN, VA —GlossyNews The recently announced “early departure” of a 43-year-old right wing political activist and blogger has brought to the forefront an investigation into a viral GOPTea™ campaign that has begun figuratively taking down some big players: Bachmann, Cain,…
GOP Hopefuls Woo Gilligan’s Island Caucus
When the Republican primary race began in January 2009, few could have imagined the many twists and turns that lay ahead. So perhaps it is fitting that residents of a small Pacific island will have a disproportionate voice in choosing…
Cruise Lines End Affirmative Action
In the wake of several recent misadventures, it was announced today all major cruise lines will end their affirmative action programs, effective immediately. Leisure industry analysts say some response was expected, but the move may be too late to reduce…
Sweden says Don’t say Boy
Sweden’s Director of Pre-school Schools announced this week a revolutionary new program for Americans to laugh at. Dr. Sven Frrrdegard spoke to reporters at Stockholm’s Ministry for Education. “As the world’s only industrialized nation not headed for bankruptcy, we Swedes…
For Israel, Peace at Any Price May Be Too High a Price
By Guest Writer Frank Edward Jordan The state of Israel will not forgo attacking Iranian nuclear facilities just because the US has not given it permission. Israel is a nuclear power. It has both the means and military expertise to…
Fidel Polled Better Than Newt in Miami
MIAMI, FL —GlossyNews In a revealing, some even said shocking, poll taken after the Jacksonville GOPTea™ debate in Florida, Fidel Castro came in 4% ahead of Newt Gingrich, one of the real candidates for the presidential primary contest. The poll…
Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow; Predicts Six More Months of Newt Gingrich
Folks in Pennsylvania have been complaining for years about all the taxpayer money they spend on lavishing their resident star groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, with the best hole in the county and some of the finest fruits and vegetables around. For…
Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title “Greatest Circus On Earth”.
Ringling Brothers Circus is suing both the Republican and Democratic Parties for infringements on the copyright claim of running ‘The Biggest Circus In The World’. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now…
Aging Gingrich Sucking Life Out of Youthful Santorum Race
Volunteers for GOP candidate Rick Santorum say they are growing more tired by the day trying to come up with good things to say about Newt Gingrich in order to keep the Gingrich/Santorum tag team going against candidate Mitt Romney….