Category: Top Stories
iPosture: Junk Gadget and Total Ripoff
Earlier this year my wife saw a clever gadget on television. It’s called the iPosture; a button-sized gizmo that promises to correct your posture with a quiet, subtle vibrating reminder. The only problem is that it’s a massive ripoff. We…
Tea Party Demonstrators Call For Lower Taxes, Smaller Vocabulary
WASHINGTON D.C. – Throughout a rousing rally on Capitol Hill Tuesday, hundreds of Tea Party demonstrators – voicing their disapproval of Barack Obama’s presidency – championed the idea of lowering taxes and downsizing the nation’s vocabulary. Speaking over a bullhorn,…
Cookie Monster “Loses Cookies” at Local Grocery
NEW YORK–Sesame Street star Cookie Monster was admitted to an unnamed psychiatric center following a cookie incident at Hooper’s Store. The beloved character filled twenty shopping carts with cookies before being approached by store personnel. Onlookers described the puppet as…
‘I’ve Worked Long and Hard to get Where I am Today’, Lies Attractive Business Woman
INDIANAPOLIS – Stunning local business woman Elizabeth Snowden today insisted that her successful career and blossoming lifestyle were the result of hard work and dogged persistence: a lie she has maintained now for over four years. Snowden, who is current…
China’s Space Station Launch on Father’s Day
You cannot will your way into overpowering nature’s unchanging and unforgiving laws and God’s active forces with these kinds of high desires and demands that man wants to accomplish. Only through becoming the most humble expert in understanding all of Nature’s Laws and through the use of most cutting-edge and precise technologies and instruments, can man perform such miracles of gods.
Sweating Romney Can’t Stop Asking Advisers How He Did Out There
DENVER, CO – Following Wednesday’s opening presidential debate at the University of Denver, a sweating Mitt Romney would not stop asking advisers how he did. Nervously loosening his tie, the former Massachusetts governor stormed into campaign manager Matt Rhoades’ temporary…
Democrats Concede 2012 Election
In an unprecedented move, President Obama and all democratic candidates have conceded the election to their respective opponents. Democratic Party Chairman Debbie Wasserman Schultz announced the collective concession this morning. Initially believed to be an elaborate early Halloween prank, it…
Big Bird Talks Mitt Romney in Hard Hitting Interview
He’s every kid’s favorite bird. Big Bird has been a staple on American television since 1969. So it was no surprise that many Americans became upset when Mitt Romney made public his plan to fire the icon. We met at…
Top-11 Reasons Barack Obama Will Win the Election
As the election season winds down, the one thing that is clear is that the pseudo muslim usurper, Barack Hussein Obama, is going to walk away with this election handily. But many looking at this election from the outside don’t…
What I Did During the First Debate (Spoiler: I didn’t watch it)
8:01: Made myself a Boulevardier, which I highly recommend. 8:07: Opened up my three-year-in-progress novel, of which I have completed one chapter to date. Wrote seven additional words that I erased and rewrote four times. Net gain – four words….