Sweating Romney Can’t Stop Asking Advisers How He Did Out There

DENVER, CO – Following Wednesday’s opening presidential debate at the University of Denver, a sweating Mitt Romney would not stop asking advisers how he did.

Nervously loosening his tie, the former Massachusetts governor stormed into campaign manager Matt Rhoades’ temporary office, demanding: “well?”

Though several staffers affirmed that the Republican candidate had performed favorably in his debate with incumbent Barack Obama, Romney asked everyone, from his wife Ann to 22-year-old Republican intern Kevin Tisley, whether he did all right out there tonight.

“Look, I’ve got to know,” said Mr. Romney to a passerby who appeared to be wearing a Romney/Ryan 2012 t-shirt. “Did I nail it tonight?”

“I mean, I know you were probably backstage for most of the debate, but tell me: from what you saw, did I hold my own? Did I?”

Seemingly unwilling to listen to supportive messages from fellow Republicans and campaign strategists, a frantic Mr. Romney vowed to give a live televised conference on Thursday in which he will ask the nation: “honestly, what did you think?”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

1 thought on “Sweating Romney Can’t Stop Asking Advisers How He Did Out There

  1. Nice try author, this is obviously bogus. I mean come on! How dum do you think we are??? We all know robots can’t sweat.

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