‘I’ve Worked Long and Hard to get Where I am Today’, Lies Attractive Business Woman

INDIANAPOLIS – Stunning local business woman Elizabeth Snowden today insisted that her successful career and blossoming lifestyle were the result of hard work and dogged persistence: a lie she has maintained now for over four years.

Snowden, who is current vice president of Mulgrove-Snowden Insurance Ltd, incorrectly stated that ever since she first entered the company’s doors dressed in a tight fitting red uniform, she has always been required to give her best in order to climb the company ladder.

“I am very much a career woman”, lied the 35-year-old Friday. “Getting to where I am today took a lot of dedication and not to mention late nights, but it was all worth it. I am just so thankful that Andrew (company president) recognized the hard worker in me during my interview.”

When asked for comment, Andrew Mulligan, who has presided over company affairs since 2002, described his second-in-command as “a great little thing to have around the office” and “a very accommodating young lady.”

“Elizabeth is a constant source of morale for the upper management team”, he said. “Gary from human resources has nothing but praise for her, and I can’t tell you how many times she’s put in a late shift in my office. Very dedicated woman.”

According to reports, it took Snowden just a matter of weeks before working her way up to the position of vice president, a promotion which raised many eyebrows at the time. “We had to show her the ropes when she first started but, take it from me, she’s been tugging on them ever since,” concluded Mulligan.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

1 thought on “‘I’ve Worked Long and Hard to get Where I am Today’, Lies Attractive Business Woman

  1. A successful friend of mine went on Craig’s List years ago looking to meet a mate. He said something about how he’s already financially successful and he only wanted to date a lady that was also financially successful. His responses came in three categories.

    1 – Unabashed gold diggers. Hey, might as well send him a picture, never know if he might change his mind.
    2 – Women who had taken their ex’s for a fortune… similar to gold diggers but with a proven track record.
    3 – And liars… women who made $30k but had fancy titles like “office manager”, which of course is a glorified secretary without all the glory.

    He’s married now. He figured out, and pretty quickly, that confident, sexy, attractive and successful single women DO NOT use Craig’s List to find a man.

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