Category: Top Stories
Synchronized Suicide Attacks were Actually a ‘Botched Flash Mob’
BAGHDAD – The Pentagon has learned that an April 18 synchronized suicide attack on a marketplace in central Baghdad was the result of a botched flash mob, thought to have been organized by a group of prankster insurgents. According to…
Prince Charles Concedes Queen Never Ever Going to Die
LONDON – Rumors have spread that during celebrations for Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee, heir apparent Prince Charles has finally conceded that the ruling British monarch is just never, ever going to bloody die. Attending the festivities last year –…
We Won: Seatac Minimum Wage Initiative Restored to November Ballot
SeaTac voters celebrate win: State Court of Appeals orders SeaTac Proposition 1 back on November ballot Today, September 6th, 2013, with only two hours to spare before the King County Election board’s cutoff for printing, Proposition 1 to raise minimum…
Declassified Letters Reveal Bin Laden A Truly Beautiful, Gifted Writer
WASHINGTON D.C. – A collection of declassified letters written by the late al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, has revealed that the mastermind behind the September 11 attacks was a surprisingly beautiful and disciplined writer. According to researchers at the…
Big Business Attempts to Steal My Vote, Steels My Resolve
Seatac has an initiative that may or may not be on the ballot this November, thanks to activist judge Andrea Darvas. They’ve tried like hell to usurp my voting right, but I’m still here, guys. READ ALSO: • SeaTac Minimum…
Assad agrees to cooperate in “symbolic strike” against Syria
The Assad regime in Syria today agreed to cooperate in a “symbolic strike” against itself. “We understand the need for the U.S. to maintain its prestige and credibility,” said a Syrian government official, on condition of anonymity, “and if bombing…
Established, High-Karma Reddit Accounts Being Sold
Apparently your karma is worth more than you know. All those years of clicking and commenting on stories, maybe they’re actually worth something. One site has Reddit accounts for sale, and they’re not shy about it. ThePublicityFirm.com says “We have…
Opponents of SeaTac’s Minimum Wage Push-Polled me, Obviously Running Scared
There’s a dirty trick in politics called the push poll. That’s when pollsters seek to sway the election by sowing seeds of doubt. Bush did it (successfully) against McCain, and the No On Prop-1 people in Seatac tried it on…
SeaTac Minimum Wage Vote Goes Court (and I’m the Plaintiff… seriously)
Citizens in the city of Seatac, WA, where I live, have tried to bring a $15/hr. minimum wage for airport and hospitality workers to a vote. But opponents have shut it down and I’ve filed a lawsuit against the city,…
Obama constituency overwhelmingly supports war with Syria
Despite a Reuters/Ipsos poll showing that only 9% of Americans support military intervention in Syria, the White House today assured the public that a more recent and reliable poll leaves no doubt that the President’s constituency favors war. The poll…