Categorized | Politics

Big Business Attempts to Steal My Vote, Steels My Resolve

Big Business Attempts to Steal My Vote, Steels My Resolve

Seatac has an initiative that may or may not be on the ballot this November, thanks to activist judge Andrea Darvas. They’ve tried like hell to usurp my voting right, but I’m still here, guys.

• SeaTac Minimum Wage Vote Goes Court (and I’m the Plaintiff… seriously)
• Opponents of SeaTac’s Minimum Wage Push-Polled me, Obviously Running Scared

1 – Many years ago, Judge Darvas robbed me of my voting right by what was later determined to be a bullshit conviction. It was overturned, and my voting rights were restored, though I missed a critical election. Weak tea, your honor. You knew Detective Bacon was lying through his smug teeth.

2 – Then came the matter of the petition to increase wages for a select group (only 6,000) airport and ancillary workers, where they kicked out my signature because, though I did everything I believed to be right, there was no date on it. Other petitions have accepted signatures without dates, but that crafty Judge Darvas still chose to throw out my vote, yet again. Fool me twice.

3 – And then the push-pollsters showed up. Asking me closed end questions with no possible answer but what they already wanted to hear. So dirty. They’ve obviously got deep pockets and they know their position can’t stand on its own merits, or they’d just stick with those rather than fairly obvious lies.

You didn’t beat me, you steeled my resolve…

I already have permission to take off work to appear at the hearing in which I’m the plaintiff. I’m even paying for my own parking. This isn’t about me, it’s about doing what’s right. Can you say that?

Would you support the other side if they weren’t paying you to do so? Some are free to say yes, but the majority are on the payroll. Only big business opposes paying a living wage to those who work the hardest.

So the bad news is, my resolve has been fortified by your efforts to disenfranchise me, unethically sway my opinion, and keep this popular idea from a popular vote.

The “No on Prop-One” people have already pledged to invest millions to fight it, but not a damn dime toward making their employees actually able to put dinner on the table.

I will volunteer to support it. I will go door to door to spread the word. I will write copy in factual defense of why higher wages are valuable. I will publish endless articles across a dozen sites so everyone knows why supporting the citizens is right, and why you corporate shills are simply wrong on every account. It will cost you another $100,000 to counteract even my own individual measures, but I know you’ll spend it.

Most front-line workers are wage-slaves. Let’s enact this bill to elevate at least a few of them out of it, even if the downside is that SeaTac will have the best hospitality staff and service in the entire country, and not just by an inch, but by $6.

If you reach to wish me regarding this matter, please use the contact page and be as detailed as possible so I can get back in touch with you. For general thoughts, please use the Comments box below.


This post was written by

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Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.


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