Category: Top Stories
How the Rich Stole Christmas
Now the middle of classes were middler than most They had oodles of things on which they could boast. They had cars, and houses, and TVs and more They were boasting and boasting of goodies galore. Til one day the…
Ann Romney Accidentally Leaves Husband Mitt at Gas Station
A preview released by Netflix last week on its upcoming documentary Mitt shows the robotic Presidential candidate appearing human. While it may be somewhat of a stretch for most to believe, it is important to note that Mitt Romney did…
Santa Claus Forced to File Chapter 11 Bankruptcy
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, unfortunately, he can’t pay his mounting debt and therefore won’t be visiting your home with lots of toys and goodies. Due to the economic downturn felt all over the globe, Santa Claus International…
Dennis Rodman Fails to Arrive at Kim Jong Un Palace
Pyongyang, N. Korea – Dennis Rodman reportedly sent a look-alike imposter in his place to supreme leader, Kim Jong Un’s palace Thursday. The leader of N. Korea is said to be hopping mad and may be readying the execution squad…
Santa Claus finally sells out; cashes in
This Christmas, you might notice something a little different when you look up into the sky and see Santa and his reindeer in flight delivering presents to children all over the world. In an unprecedented partnership, global shipping giant FedEx®…
Wall Street Banks’ Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty
Dateline: NEW YORK—A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the…
StrangleCorp’s HR VP Recalls Snowden as “So-So” Applicant
StrangleCorp Press–Dec 15, 2013–Recent investigations reveal that Edward Snowden once applied for employment at the ultra-secretive company StrangleCorp before being employed by the NSA. StrangleCorp’s VP of HR May Helm recalls interviewing Edward Snowden in early 2006 and finding him,…
Obama: Nat King Cole Song is ‘Homophobic’
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Americans have been left in shock after President Obama issued a statement characterizing Nat King Cole’s famous “Christmas Song” as homophobic. In a press conference held late on Friday, Obama explained that his uneasiness with the classic…
A Low Point for President Jesus
WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to address the issues of unemployment and poverty in…
Uncle Truly Astonished by Nephew Kim Jong Un’s Surprise Party
Jang Song Thaek, second top gun in the North Korean Political Machine and uncle to the countries President Kim Jon Un, was truly astonished at the surprise party his nephew had for him on Tuesday. “This is amazing!’ stated Jang,…