Category: Top Stories
Sarah Palin’s Heritage Linked Back to Salem Witch Trial Era
A reading of parts of a manuscript dated to 1692, has been found to contain the surname Ward. This name, when researched, may suggest that Henrietta McAutrey, nee Ward, is a thrice-removed cousin of our own Sarah Palin. You may…
Feudalism Reinstituted in Suckersland Where One Man Owns Everything
Dateline: Richardsville, Suckersland—Economic inequality in Suckersland has reached its ultimate end point: a single man in that nation owns absolutely everything and all of the other inhabitants are broke or in debt. Lord Richard, the man who literally has everything,…
Thomas Jefferson, James Madison’s Nasty Hobby of Making Monsters
Our Historic Leaders, Madison and Jefferson, Also had A Hobby Making Frankensteins. There are unknown, dark portions of our history that our leaders would just as soon hope we didn’t learn. There are secrets about those who are at the…
NASA: Aliens Dropped ‘Jelly Donut” Rock In Front of Mars Rover
NASA scientists have discarded all previous theories as to how a mysterious ‘jelly donut’ rock appeared beside the Mars Rover Opportunity and now say it must have been dropped there by aliens. “We have ruled out every other explanation”, said…
Ghost of Reagan Appears; Apologizes for Trickle Down Economics
It is said that Ronald Reagan haunts the White House, and a visitor to the stately home has come forward to bring a message from Reagan beyond the grave. “He says he’s sorry for advocating trickle-down economics, and if he…
Taliban Successfully Destroys Afghan Society- Reverts To Cannibalism
The Taliban has successfully destroyed every business and killed every non-conforming citizen and foreigner in Afghanistan. Left without an effective economy and without anyone who understands any technology beyond that of making heroin the entire land has fallen into a…
Fullerton Pacifist Joins NRA – Buys Uzi
Fullerton, Orange County, CA – Fullerton resident and lifelong pacifist Dylan Donovan today announced that he has finally caved in to environmental pressures by joining the NRA and buying an Uzi sub-machine gun. Speaking from his home in downtown Fullerton,…
Harvey Weinstein to Open Fire on NRA in Upcoming Movie
Filmmaker, Harvey Weinstein announced Wednesday that he is taking on the NRA with a zeal not seen since Michael Moore’s documentary, Bowling for Columbine. Weinstein told Howard Stern that his movie won’t be a documentary, which will give him license…
Spousal Rape: An Old Wife’s Tale
Old wives from around the globe are chiming in on VA State Senator Richard “Dick” Black’s assessment on rape in the marital bedroom. Black claims that spousal rape is not a punishable crime due to the fact that the couple…
New Pot Laws May Save/Destroy Education System in America
After seeing how much money Colorado made in just the first week of implementing its law allowing the use of recreational marijuana, New Hampshire is hurrying through legislation of its own with a vote scheduled today. With a hefty 25%…