Category: War Zone
Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How
Since the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, Kim the third has struggled to establish what kind of leader he is. If he’s smart, or even just sagely selfish, he’ll open the country and become the richest man on…
Architects Debate Positive Uses of Nerve Gas
Today in Geneva the International Architects Association (the I. A. ASS) met to discuss their position on the use of nerve gas in warfare. Two factions have argued repeatedly about the issue, but never adopting a formal stance to lobby…
America’s Toughest Sheriff to Serve Border Duty in Syria
As violence continues to escalate in the Middle East, millions of refugees have been sent packing to neighboring countries. Many with no other choice but to illegally cross borders. Not one to take illegal border crossings lightly, self-billed “America’s Toughest…
Syria & the Ever-Changing Face of American Patriotism & International Responsibility
The American psyche sometimes goes through amazing changes. 12 years ago we couldn’t wait to get our hands on that ultimate harbinger of evil Saddam Hussein and his dire WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION (GASP!!!!!!!) and to send his bad self…
Synchronized Suicide Attacks were Actually a ‘Botched Flash Mob’
BAGHDAD – The Pentagon has learned that an April 18 synchronized suicide attack on a marketplace in central Baghdad was the result of a botched flash mob, thought to have been organized by a group of prankster insurgents. According to…
Declassified Letters Reveal Bin Laden A Truly Beautiful, Gifted Writer
WASHINGTON D.C. – A collection of declassified letters written by the late al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, has revealed that the mastermind behind the September 11 attacks was a surprisingly beautiful and disciplined writer. According to researchers at the…
Gun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic to Taliban than US
A major financial shift has occurred within the manufacturing section of the United States Corporate industry. A huge surge has come about in the number of guns and ammunition being clandestinely sold to the Mid East terror organization Al Queda.
Israel Forces Palestinians In The Occupied Territories To Wear Yellow Star Of David
Israel, in its constant repression and controlling of the Palestinians living in the areas of the West Bank and Gaza that they keep a tight control over, have started forcing Palestinians to wear a yellow cloth Star Of David on…
Edward Snowden’s Girlfriend Lindsay Mills Just An “Average” Poll Dancer
Many supporters of government whistleblower Edward Snowden claim that his girlfriend Lindsay Mills is just an “average” pole dancer with no special attributes. “I’ve seen Lindsay dance and she ain’t nothing special”, said New York bartender Sal Jennings, 37. “She…
Drunken Obama Declares Prima Nocte
WASHINGTON — In a surprise move late last night, President Obama declared “Prima Nocte,” invoking the controversial 16th century feudal statute that allowed noblemen to “call dibs” on any newlywed bride during her first night of marriage. According to the…