Archive | War Zone

Terrorists Win: Bin Laden “Pleasantly Surprised” w/ NYC 9-11 Show Trial

Terrorists Win: Bin Laden “Pleasantly Surprised” w/ NYC 9-11 Show Trial

Deep in the Mountains of Pakistan: Osama Bin Laden gave a rare press interview today to BSNE and other members of the international media. Commenting on the Obama Administration’s decision to try the mastermind of the 9-11 Attacks, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, in civilian court in New York City; a near giddy Bin Laden announced, “The terrorists Win!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, War Zone3 Comments

Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks

Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks

Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the company has planted the equivalent of 2500 square miles of garden carrots to replace the growing of cocoa plants in conjunction with the US and Columbian governments’ drug replacement policies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, War Zone0 Comments

CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan.

Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of cyberspace. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Army Honors Pig War Veterans

Army Honors Pig War Veterans

In observance of of Veteran’s Day, Army Chief of Staff General George W. Casey presided over a ceremony at Fort Benning, Georgia today, honoring “our nations greatest heroes,” by which of course he meant the veterans of the infamous 1859 Pig War.

For the uninitiated, the Pig War was a brief and very real war concerning a dispute over the border between the United States’ Oregon Territory (modern-day Washington State) and the Great Britain’s Columbia territory (today known as Australia). Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone3 Comments

Remembrance Sunday: Lest We Forget, You Know, Stuff

Remembrance Sunday: Lest We Forget, You Know, Stuff

It is Sunday, November 8th and though Remembrance Day officially falls on the 11th of the month – to recall the end of World War One on that date in 1918 (and too the timely demise of Kaiser Bill’s Imperial Germany and Otto von Bismarck’s well-designed bully-boy militarist state) – we have evolved the habit of observing and commemorating this occasion upon the closest Sabbath for enhanced devotional and ritualistic effect. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Weapons Inspector: Suicide Profession or Good Fun?

Weapons Inspector: Suicide Profession or Good Fun?

Police are investigating a possible crime scene after a British atomic energy and weapons specialist involved in negotiations with Iran over its nuclear programme fell 40 metres to his death inside the UN’s headquarters building in Vienna.

Officials announced this morning that the man – named as Professor Timothy Hampton – died on the spot yesterday after a fall from the 17th floor at the Vienna International Kamikaze Centre – one of the United Nations main European HQ’s along with Geneva. Continue Reading

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Balkanized Iraq Needs Strong Leadership

Balkanized Iraq Needs Strong Leadership

At least 132 people have been killed and 520 injured in two massive car bomb attacks in Baghdad, according to the FUBAR News Agency and reports coming in on the Abattoir Channel.

The blasts hit the Department of Injustice building and the nearby Ministry of Firewood near the jolly Green Zone, causing what army ordnance specialists termed ‘lots and lots of damage’. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

UN Goldstone Report Hints Israeli War Crimes “Uncool”

UN Goldstone Report Hints Israeli War Crimes “Uncool”

The UN Human Rights and Wrongs Council has backed a report into the festive season-of-goodwill Israeli offensive in Gaza that accuses the IDF and the Knesset government of dastardly Nazi-style war crimes bordering on a genocidal mini-Holohoax.

The report, authored by internationally-respected South African jurist Richard Gallstone, calls for credible investigations, admissions and corrections by the Israeli government and military – and suggests international war crimes prosecutions should be filed against the Israeli career psychopaths responsible if they do not – with the cases being referred to the International Criminal Court at The Hague. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone2 Comments

CIA Funding Tech, Linguistics, Some Iranian Terrorist Groups

CIA Funding Tech, Linguistics, Some Iranian Terrorist Groups

The United States military hawks have thrown their hands up and cried “Time Out!” as they hotly deny accusations of having played a role in a deadly terrorist suicide bombing in southeast Iran.

“We condemn this act of terrorism and mourn the loss of innocent lives – honest – cross my heart and hope to die,” State Department spokesman Sheldon Weaselberg declared – just before dropping stone dead – in a statement to a group of media reporters who looked stupid or gullible enough to still believe anything the US government says. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories, War Zone0 Comments

UN Convoy Delivers “Aid” to “Congo”

UN Convoy Delivers “Aid” to “Congo”

A UN convoy has finally arrived in rebel-held territory in the Devastated Republic of Congo, bringing supplies to some of the 250,000 refugees displaced by the civil war.

It is the first aid – or meal – since the August Bank Holiday barbeque for those stranded in areas controlled by the simian forces of megalomaniac rebel commander Field Marshall Bonkers N’kunta. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone1 Comment

Bliar Gets Pariah Treatment from Grieving (Germaphobic?) Father

Bliar Gets Pariah Treatment from Grieving (Germaphobic?) Father

A father’s grief boiled over yesterday into a furious rage when he came face to face with the man blamed for his son’s death.

Ex-UK Slime Minister Tony Bliar offered the handshake of condolence during a reception at a London Chew and Spew fast food outlet following a memorial service at St Sappho’s Cathedral to commemorate the thousands of British army troops maimed, mutilated and snuffed in the illegal Iraq war. Continue Reading

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Posted in War Zone3 Comments

Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?

Israeli War Criminals – the New Nazis?

Israel’s Chief Minister for Genocidal Activities and former head honcho of the IDF’s ‘Brutal Thug’ Brigade – General Moshe ‘Boogie’ Slimeberg – canceled a recent visit to the UK due fears he would be summarily arrested on war crimes charges, according to the Knesset’s Office for Black Propaganda & Anti-Semitic Whingeing. Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories, War Zone0 Comments

Obama So Good at Failing Wars, Wins Nobel Peace Prize

Obama So Good at Failing Wars, Wins Nobel Peace Prize

President Barack Obama looks to be in a bit of a pickle – regardless of being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for being top dog of the world’s most belligerent nation – next to Israel.

If he doesn’t sanction the dispatch of the extra 40,000 troops his military commander in Afghanistan – General Billy Bob McTwattie – has requested to replace the ones the Taliban keep snuffing then the GOP Republican hawks are ready to paint him as a spineless dove who’s Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories, War Zone2 Comments

IAEA Chief: Israel the Real Rogue Nuclear State

IAEA Chief: Israel the Real Rogue Nuclear State

The top nuclear inspector at the UN told reporters from the Warmongers Gazette he does not believe that Iran is a threat to Middle Eastern peace and stability but conversely claims that Israel is the number one menace due its expansionist policies and covert nuclear weapons arsenal. Continue Reading

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Posted in Top Stories, War Zone, World News2 Comments

US Paranoid Over Iran’s “World Ending” Nuke Programme

US Paranoid Over Iran’s “World Ending” Nuke Programme

Iran concealed a fully operational second uranium enrichment plant in defiance of Israeli-led calls for transparency over its nuclear plans, according to the perjurious Zionist stooge President Barack “Barky O’Barmy” Obama.

A group of sycophantic spokesmen for the US, UK and France told a reporter from the Cry Wolf Gazette that the UN and the IAEA had to be given immediate access to inspect Iran’s nuclear facilities and urged tough new sanctions to force the Ahmadashell administration to comply – while Russia and China publicly claimed they didn’t give a flying fuck and enjoyed watching Israel and their Western schlemiels squirm over what Iran did and or did not actually possess in the way of military weapons grade nuclear materials. Continue Reading

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Ungrateful Iraqis “Don’t Appreciate” US Invasion

Ungrateful Iraqis “Don’t Appreciate” US Invasion

The US House Overshite Committee on International Ethnic Cleansing, Human Wrongs and Justifiable Genocide met today in Washington to discuss issues of sovereignty and stability in Iraq and the country’s longstanding financial obligation of reimbursing the US-led coalition nation forces for the costs of invading – then occupying – their country for the past six years – at great ‘continuing’ expense in the terms of body bags and funerals. Continue Reading

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