Category: Biz News
Job Advice: Know When it’s Time to Go
In my 30 years as a professional employment specialist, I have created the state of unemployment numerous times for many different reasons. Each “involuntary separation” has its own set of unique challenges and style points, but I consider a few…
Santa Claus Forced to File Chapter 11 Bankruptcy
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, unfortunately, he can’t pay his mounting debt and therefore won’t be visiting your home with lots of toys and goodies. Due to the economic downturn felt all over the globe, Santa Claus International…
Wall Street Banks’ Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty
Dateline: NEW YORK—A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the…
“Old Man” Winter Relinquishes Control to Son Biff
Old Man Winter has reportedly turned over operational control of the winter season to his son, Biff according to sources close to the personification of nature. Citing health issues, Old Man Winter made the announcement in late November and his…
Drug Makers Reintroduce Measles to America
Spokespersons for GlaxoSmithKline, Merk, Pfizer and other makers of immunization therapies stated today that the pharmaceutical industry is reintroducing the measles virus to America. “The measles virus was eradicated throughout most of the world”, said Pfizer spokesperson Juliette Riposs. “Fewer…
Insider Opens Shelter for Regretful & Embittered Advertisers
Dateline: NEW YORK—Hugo “Sellout” Slickster, a recovering ex-advertiser, opened The Center for Alienated and Cynical Advertisers (CACA). Its mission is to provide support for advertisers who are withdrawn and embittered because their job forces them to dehumanize consumers and thus…
Dispelling the Myths About Seatac’s $15 Minimum Wage
I’ve been active with the Yes on Prop One (Seatac’s citizen initative to raise minimum wage for airport workers to $15/hr) since I signed the petition. There are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there, so let’s clear them…
Forget Black Friday, It’s Time for Red, White & Blue Friday
We spend so much time working like hell to spend so much money buying worthless crap made in China to impress people we might not even like. This year, let’s skip the sweatshop goods and buy local to make Christmas…
Woman Chops Off Finger to Avoid Workplace Safety Rally
SAN FRANCISCO, California – A cafeteria employee cut off one of her own fingers with a butcher’s knife in an “act of desperation” after a co-worker reminded her that 99 days had elapsed since someone had been injured in a…
The Consumer Credit Freeze is Real
I had perfect credit 20 years ago. I leveraged it to make a mint, on paper, before everything went south. It all went south over 15 years ago, but credit is still frozen. Average consumers simply cannot obtain credit. Even…