Category: Sports Scandals
Witnesses Spot Roger Goodell Fleeing Stadium With #12 Jersey
When the confetti finally settled in Houston’s NRG Stadium Sunday night, Patriots quarterback and Super Bowl LI MVP noted something was amiss. It seemed in the excitement, an unknown perpetrator made off with a sweat stained, body odor drenched, torn…
Tom Brady’s Cheekbones Now Undeniably the Greatest in NFL History
In a stunning comeback that saw records set for the most Super Bowl wins by a quarterback, most passing yards in a Super Bowl, most times as Super Bowl MVP, most catches from a single receiver in the Super Bowl,…
Rio 2016 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries
The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which other nations have links simply do not exist. Two hundred and seven countries were represented at the opening ceremony of Rio 2016,…
Andy Tate & Louis Van Gaal Respond to Latest Glazer Improvements of Man United
Last time, we told yer all about t’ Glazer family’s shoddy attempts t’ finally sort out United and make ’em all ‘bright, clean & nice-looking guys.’ But ‘ow has this news been received, eh? Andy Tate rants: Avram Glazer, yer…
Glazers & Manchester United: A Proper Free Market Corporation at Last
Notable across-the-pond sporting enterpreneurs ‘The Glazer lads, PLC.’ have recently decided that the old-fashioned European way of doing football just isn’t financially viable for such a serious enterpreneurial concern as Manchester United Soccer, uh, Whatever Club. So, they have now renamed their…
Harry Redknapp’s Resounding Victory over Twitter Trolls
Former rugby legend Bucky Guinstella has begun his long march out of the sporting wilderness, and has embarked upon a new literary career as a Twitter troll. However, the joke seems to be on him, and he is not having much…
Blair, Berlusconi Salute Blatter’s Character and Integrity
The recent revival of the Sepp Blatter affair http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/33303066 has led two of the former FIFA President’s most faithful allies business partners supporters to pay tribute.. To this leading light of international gamesmanship… Uh, ‘sport.’ Tony Blair said: People are…
FIFA Joins Forces with ISIS: “It’s a Perfect Match”
FIFA president Sepp Blatter insists that he’s not using a fake name, but he also swears his sworn alliance to ISIS is likewise legitimate. FIFA and ISIS. One is a ruthless, soulless dictatorship that destroys everything in its path and…
With Tom Brady Suspension Looming, Patriots Introduce New QB
Foxborough, Massachusetts – Only hours after the NFL suspended two-time MVP quarterback, Tom Brady, for the first four games of the 2015 season, New England Patriots owner, Robert Kraft and head coach, Bill Belichick, announced the signing of the player…
Tom Brady: “My Balls Were Deflated”
Milford, Connecticut – After weeks of controversy against Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots for whether they intentionally let air out of game balls, Tom Brady finally stepped forward in an interview on the Dan Patrick Show…