Category: Sports
Weiner Says It’s Not His ‘Weener’
NEW YORK, NY. GlossyNews.com – Rep. Anthony Weiner has aroused more suspicion today by neither confirming nor denying that the crotch in question is his, and reiterated his opinion that the incident is, “a distraction, and nothing more than a…
Brett Favre’s NFL Retirement Fuels Movie Rumors
When Brett Favre recently announced his retirement from football (again), speculation began almost immediately that he would finally be coaxed into making his long-anticipated return to Hollywood. For years, fans and film critics have urged the multi-talented Favre to hang…
Arena Football Eases Fans Qualms About Suffering an NFL Lockout
Do you struggle to understand the meaning of life? Worried your bladder will explode while riding an elevator? Scratching an itchy ear with a paper clip (quite frankly, who hasn’t)? Then there’s an event happening nearby that’ll make your scalp…
Lady Liberty Loses Innocence to Greedy Suitors
It was a heinous act; too vile and too great for our minds to even truly comprehend. Lady Liberty, our much beloved symbol of America, was assaulted and callously violated today in an attack that has left the nation breathless…
The Official Guide To Almost Injury-Free Snowboarding
Despite the fact that you hate the cold, hate putting on piles of clothing and hate rocketing yourself off a mountain at the speed of sound because it could possibly kill you, you still have to look cool for your…
Professional Sport Career Allows Man to Enjoy Data Entry Hobby
Local man, Clive McNeish, revealed today how fortunate he feels being paid a reasonable annual salary for just two hours work a week as a professional squash player. This leaves a full 38 hours a week free for McNeish to…
Nation Shocked as Socialists Win The Super Bowl
A nation reels in shock as it realizes that Socialists have won the beloved American institution called the Super Bowl. Beating the genuinely capitalistic Pittsburgh Steelers by a 31 to 24 margin, the Green Bay Packers won the game that…
‘Nouveau Homeless’ Emerge as Travel to Super Bowl Sacked by Mother Nature
Thousands of Steelers and Packers fans found it almost impossible to get to Arlington, Texas for the Super Bowl game to be played on Sunday. Some are telling travel hell stories straight from the play books of the comedy film…
Dwight Freeney Learning to Take the “Free” Out of His Name
Those who follow NFL apparently know who Dwight Freeney is, even if most of America, and the landlord on his recording studio, haven’t heard a peep from him. He’s being sued for $422,150 in back rent on the studio, a…
Rose Bowl Parade Officials Cancel N. Korean Army Marching Deal
Pasadena, CA – Rose Bowl Parade officials sent an official notice to members of the elite North Korean Army’s precision marching corp. The letter gave notice that due to recent international nuclear tensions, the participation of the 10,000 man North…