Category: Society
Senator Apologizes to Conquistadors
NUEVO LAREDO, Texas (GlossyNews) — In a move termed a ‘head scratcher’ by DC insiders, TX Senator Denton R. Fender this week released a statement aimed at rapprochement towards Spain, and some people who have been dead for five centuries….
Hollister Co Sues Hollister, CA Again – This Time For Bedbug Infestation
HOLLISTER, Calif. (GlossyNews) — Residents of Hollister, Calif. may find themselves on the wrong side of yet another lawsuit by clothing giant Hollister Co after bedbugs were discovered in Hollister Co’s SoHo store in New York. While the source of…
World’s Longest Hair Discovered in Bake Sale Cake
The World’s longest hair has been discovered by a good Samaritan who bought a 23 pound German chocolate cake from a group of Pentecostal ladies hosting a bake sale in front of a local department store. The 17 foot long…
Burt Reynolds Announces Moustache Club for Men
America’s iconic symbol of 1970’s sexual excess, who’s had more you know what than a porta-potty seat at Bonnaroo, if you know what I mean, today announced a new joint venture with ‘Magnum PI’ alum Tom Selleck. Clinics will be…
Wannabe, White, Rapper Jives For Job — Still Unemployed
VENICE BEACH, California (GlossyNews) — Nineteen year old Malibu’s Most Wanted clone, Josh Milton, is feeling good vibes after his first real job interview. He successfully answered each question with, what can only be explained as, a convulsive fit of…
Mix-up in Hell Has Satan Sending More than One Anti-Christ to Earth
HOLLISTER, California (GLossyNews) — Satan is said to be madder than hell at his minions this week after he learned that more than one, and possibly as many as eight Anti-Christs have been unleashed upon the Earth during the past…
Tragedy Blamed on Mistaken Identity
TORONTO, Ontario (GlossyNews) RCMP District Superintendent Dudley Pemberton spoke to reporters today in the wake of what’s being called ‘the Toronto atrocity.’ “First, I want to say we tried to do right. All of you who snidely imply otherwise, you…
Catholic Church Finds Innocent Priest, Excommunicates Him
CASTRO STREET, San Fransisco, CA (GlossyNews) — The Catholic Church revealed Saturday morning that they had found one priest in Renton, Washington, whom, they say, has never committed any act of abuse or possibly any sin during his tenure as…
Satan is Suing His Insurance Company
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. This guy claiming to be the Devil phones and asks that we interview him. Turns out Satan doesn’t look a bit like I imagined. He’s kinda hot really. He looks…
Obama Picks Judge Judy to Decide Oil Spill Claims
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Ever since President Obama and BP announced that BP is putting up an initial $20 billion to pay for any legitimate claims that are filed as a result of damages incurred as a direct or…