Category: Human Interest
Boyfriend Somehow Given Final Say Over Which of These 2 Dresses Goes Best with The White Heels
INDIANAPOLIS – Despite possessing virtually no discernible fashion sense or understanding of basic color-coordination, local boyfriend Joseph Clapham was somehow given final say Thursday over which of these two dresses goes best with the white heels. Happy himself to just…
Florida Woman Makes Son Turn Down TV to “Conserve Sound”
A Jacksonville, Florida native has drawn widespread attention after asking her son to turn down his television in order to save sound. Gladys Welsh, age 83, was heard yelling to her son Timmy, age 45, to lower the volume on…
New Year Baby Refuses to be Born
SAN FRANCISCO–The first baby of New Year 2013 is refusing to depart his mother’s womb. The child–identified during the first trimester as a boy and subsequently named Jonah by his parents—stated from in utero, he would permit another infant to…
The Nightmare of Living in America’s Friendliest Town
You might think living in America’s friendliest town must be a fairy tale. Au contraire. It’s a living Hell. Forbes Magazine just came out with its ranking of the Friendliest Towns in America. Coming in at the #1 spot on…
Bad Ideas in the News
Every now and then, Glossy News publishes quirky stories about people who are in the news for having made really bad decisions. We find it helps our readers feel better about themselves. If you’re having a rough day, if you’re…
Pick a Peck of Pilgrim Pepper
Supermarket chains across the United States have agreed to forgo advertising depicting happy families gathered together in celebration and good cheer this holiday season. Although researchers insist an increase in suicide attempts during the holidays has proved largely a myth,…
Don’t Let Your Dishwasher Destroy Your Marriage
If you’re like my wife, then after you’ve been married for about two years, you probably realize your decision to get married was a serious mistake. Marriage is difficult, especially if your husband is a humor writer or you have…
Despite Inexperience, Local Narcissist Ready For Debut MMA Fight
Donnie Dimaggio, a 27 year old Las Vegas bartender, has decided that despite having virtually no experience in the realm of combat sports, he’s totally ready for his first Mixed Martial Arts fight, which is scheduled for early next year….
Neighbors Amicably Resolve Fence Dispute
MAPLEVIEW, OHIO – In a rare event, two Mapleview citizens have resolved their fence dispute without resort to violence, litigation or letters to the editor. Myron Beaver and Stew Lansing, longtime neighbors, were engaged in what could have been a…
Newspapers Sleep with the Fishes
MIAMI–Newspapers became unwitting casualties of Black Friday after holiday shoppers swore off traditional sales marketing to shop discounts by smartphone. “I got the paper once a week, on Sundays and only for the coupons,” said one early morning shopper. “No…