INDIANAPOLIS – Despite possessing virtually no discernible fashion sense or understanding of basic color-coordination, local boyfriend Joseph Clapham was somehow given final say Thursday over which of these two dresses goes best with the white heels.
Happy himself to just hit the town wearing a no-nonsense combination of a button shirt and jeans, the 24-year-old was nonetheless charged with the thankless task of picking between the black-and-white polka-dot dress or, alternatively, the sexy red one.
“I mean, I guess the dotted one works well with the shoes, with it having bits of white in it and stuff,” said Clapham, immediately certain that his answer was wrong. “Or, you know, the red one matches the lipstick, so that’s good, right?”
In spite of his insistence that either dress would work fine, Clapham was subsequently offered a third option in the form of that satin green dress – you know, that one from H&M?
“That one’s good as well. It really… I don’t know… did you… it goes well with the necklace.”
Clapham’s involvement in the decision-making process notwithstanding, it was decided against his will that a hitherto untested yellow number with ruffles would suffice, with the white heels eventually making way for those super cute blue sandals.
This doesn’t happen to me, I just don’t ask. Lesson learnt.
they know we are completely out of our element and yet they keep asking. baffling. very funny article, by the way.
I did the worst one. My wife (then fiance) was trying on an outfit and she complained how it made her look fat, and I was supposed to agree with her, so I did. I said yeah it folds all wierd and pinched an awkward flop in the material. But no, it was her fat. I pinched a role of her fat. The look of horror on her face was probably mirrored by the look of horror on my face as we both realized what I’d just done.
Guys. Don’t answer the question. Just don’t. It’s not worth it.
I’ve been in this situation. “Honey, they both look fine. Seriously. Can we just leave? We’re already like a half hour late!”