Archive | Human Interest

Woman Injured After Practicing Faulty Feng Shui

Woman Injured After Practicing Faulty Feng Shui

Gladys Schumwerner of Columbus, Ohio suffered a broken finger and several lacerations after the laughing Buddha she attached to a wire hanging from her ceiling fell, hitting her squarely in the left hand. It was the third in several unfortunate mishaps since Gladys decided to change her luck by re-arranging her home to allow the chi to flow more effectively. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest7 Comments

Newlywed Couple Fears That Honeymoon May Never End

Newlywed Couple Fears That Honeymoon May Never End

SARASOTA, FL – GlossyNews.com — After nearly four years of marriage, Nathan and Jennifer Reed are starting to worry that their proverbial “honeymoon” might never end, despite several attempts to take each other for granted and argue over petty differences.

While most married couples spend a mere six months ignoring faults and having way too much passionate Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest3 Comments

Elderly Pensioner OD’s on LOST DVD Box Set

Elderly Pensioner OD’s on LOST DVD Box Set

Akron, Ohio – GlossyNews.com – Ralph McFarden spent thirty years in the Sacramento sewer system. The waste engineer reportedly had a long and satisfying career with the Akron Waste Management Department before finally retiring to his modest home overlooking the North Akron Shopping Plaza last Monday. But fate had a nasty trick up its sleeve for this quiet pensioner. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Television0 Comments

Shocking: “Birds And Bees” Explained Around The World

Shocking: “Birds And Bees” Explained Around The World

At some point in every parent’s life, there comes a time when they must explain that very fundamental but mysterious and appealing fact of life to their offspring–the sex act.

(Image courtesy of the brilliant folks at SaintGasoline.com.)

Not an easy task for anyone, including our neighbors around the world. Let’s take a look at how other nationalities, races, cultures and religions handle this most difficult of subjects to discuss with your young ones. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

Radical New Self-Help Book Has Readers Beating Themselves Up

Radical New Self-Help Book Has Readers Beating Themselves Up

A new self-help book by previously unknown psychiatrist and author, Dom N. Adeur, Ph.D. is quickly making its way up the NY Times Bestseller List. It’s OK to Smack Your Inner Child has been hailed by Dr. Adeur’s peers as a ‘breakthrough book for adults who have nowhere else to turn but inside.’

Dr. Adeur explains that for too long, we’ve allowed our inner child to take control of our adult lives. In his book, Adeur often calls his inner child a “brat who needs a serious spanking.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Human Interest0 Comments

75-Year Reunion Attracts Living Dead

75-Year Reunion Attracts Living Dead

Collegetown, Penn – GlossyNews.com – Penn State’s 75-year college reunion was disrupted Tuesday by the arrival of a horde of living dead from nearby Collegetown Cemetery. Based on cemetery dental records, all of the living dead who showed up at the reunion are believed to be bona fide graduates of the Penn State Class of ‘35. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest3 Comments

Go Ahead, Drop the F-Bomb; It’s the Easy Way Out

Go Ahead, Drop the F-Bomb; It’s the Easy Way Out

Can’t find the right word? Stifled when the cretin ahead of you in the “Express Lane” is paying for a full shopping cart with a Ziploc of Canadian coins? You’re not alone. There’s a shortage shredding the very polyester fiber of this great land. We’ve run out of modifiers – you know – adjectives, adverbs, admonishers and condiments.

The shortage was recently apparent when Neil Diamond, a crotchety rock star whose “Cherry, Cherry” is now wildly popular in geriatrics wards and elevators alike, was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest2 Comments

Almost 20 Tons of Unwanted Drugs Turned in to DEA

Almost 20 Tons of Unwanted Drugs Turned in to DEA

For the second year in a row, the DEA has organized a drug take-back initiative event at 6 sites throughout New England to collect unused prescription medications from those residents who no longer want or need them.

Unfortunately, just like last year, the prescription medications showing up at the collection sites are just harmless, out-of-date, non-narcotic formulas, dropped off by concerned senior citizens happy to help their government out. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Bumper Crop of Medical Marijuana Expected in White House Garden

Bumper Crop of Medical Marijuana Expected in White House Garden

Thanks to a wet and mild spring in the nation’s capital this year, a bumper crop of medical marijuana is expected in the White House garden. Tommy Chong, chief Japanese gardener, (no relation to that other Tommy Chong) claims the plants have started taking over the entire garden.

“This is the first year we decided to grow cannabis in the herb section of the garden,” says Chong “and it’s taking over the place. We’ve got some plants reaching the 2-foot height already and this is only May. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Biggie Burger Introduces the “Suicide Burger”

Biggie Burger Introduces the “Suicide Burger”

Parkersburg WV – GlossyNews.com – Biggie Burger Inc. of Parkersburg WV, famous for its patented 1200-calorie Gargantuan Burger, today introduced its even more massive artery-destroying Suicide Burger.

Reportedly the new menu item will be so huge customers will be provided bibs to catch falling bits of lettuce and dribs of mayonnaise as they struggle to wrap their jaws around this baby. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

Don’t Blame the Rich, It’s a Generational Thing

Don’t Blame the Rich, It’s a Generational Thing

Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire states such as Wisconsin and Michigan.

The rich, or as they like to refer to themselves as “the haves” say they simply can’t help it. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

New Evidence Casts Doubt on ‘Official’ 9-11 Report

New Evidence Casts Doubt on ‘Official’ 9-11 Report

In short, digital enhancement of what was once thought to be video of an innocent family outing on a fateful day in American history now suggests the truth of 9-11 has long been packaged in a tissue of lies.

At this writing, no major news outlets have seen the video. Word of it first leaked out last week via internet postings by a shadowy group calling itself ‘The Guardians.’ Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

Losers Claim Win-Win Just a Ploy

Losers Claim Win-Win Just a Ploy

Losers around the world are waking up today to the sad realization that regardless of what they’ve been told in school and the workplace, the win-win scenario just doesn’t exist. “It’s a ploy,” said Winton Gardensalad from Montauk, NY. “I played along for most of my life and look where it’s gotten me,” he said from the sad little 8 x 10 room he calls home at the Happy-go-Lucky Retirement Center. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest2 Comments

Student Exposes WW2 Vet as Faker

Student Exposes WW2 Vet as Faker

What began as a school project has brought scandal to a formerly beloved citizen of this quiet Ohio town. Mayfield High School students in Ms. Lander’s AP History class were assigned to interview local war veterans. Young Hillary Pierce chose nursing home resident Al Gunderson.

The pretty brunette was unaware she’d soon be asked to choose between journalistic integrity and participation in a cover-up of massive proportions. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest16 Comments

Aspen: Where Cops are Men Except When Driving Their Hippie Cruisers

Aspen: Where Cops are Men Except When Driving Their Hippie Cruisers

The Aspen, Colorado Police have it tough. Not that they have to deal with vicious inner city gangs, murderous Juarez drug cartels or mass Benghazi type protests.

No.

They have to deal with driving silver police cars with aspen leafs painted on the sides. With a large, yellow canary sticker on the back. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Society0 Comments

Cockfighting Bill Nears Passage

Cockfighting Bill Nears Passage

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

First we want to remind you. Glossy News told you President Obama would ease travel restrictions to Cuba so it can become a new Spring break destination for hordes of stupid rich college kids. We told you that before anybody else because we’re the serious journalists.

Now about this Cockfighting Bill. You have bad priorities. Families are sleeping in cars at Wal-Mart parking lots, and the Congress of the United States has nothing more to worry about than cockfighting? Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest0 Comments

We Made a Movie!


Check us out on Kickstarter!


Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial