Category: Crime
Rich Convicts Seek Out From Prison as “Affluenza” Catches On
Keller, TX – Mockery of the justice system spread across the country today as a Texas judge sentenced Ethan Couch to 10 years probation for the murder of 4 people while driving drunk in June 2013. Ethan, 16 at the…
Time Traveler Arrested for Killing His Grandfather
Josh Holbecker, a 25 year old time traveler from the year 2072, was arrested this morning after traveling back in time and killing his grandfather, 22-year-old Harvard graduate student Ernest Holbecker. Josh claims that his father, who has not yet…
Gun Makers Pissed Shoop Mall Shooting Only Kills Himself
American Arms Manufacturers are upset that a man had the audacity to enter a mall, shoot it up, and not intentionally hit anyone else other than himself. On Nov. 3rd 20 year old Richard Shoop entered the New Jersey Garden…
Fashion Police Accused of Disproportionately Targeting Blacks
LOS ANGELES, CA – An investigation has begun into allegations that members of the fashion police have deliberately set out to target blacks during routine fashion exposes and before-and-after shots. The announcement comes after 2,000,000 eye-witnesses reported seeing singer Beyonce…
Study: Gun Advocates Commonly Cowards?
A recent study conducted by the NRA surprisingly finds instances of gun ownership are tied directly to those prone to acts of cowardice. The study surveyed 924 gun owners and asked them a variety of questions, and included 323 non-gun…
Police credit urban fashion trend in helping to catch criminals
For years, our nation’s law enforcement agencies have made great technological strides in their efforts to hunt down criminals. Thanks to popular shows like CSI Miami, CSI New York, CSI Las Vegas, and the lesser known CSI Akron, CSI Schenectady…
In wake of Zimmerman verdict, Florida legislature criminalizes being black
Super Uniden antennas will help improve your widescreen Sharp TV signal reception. Recently, our nation’s attention was focused on Sanford, Florida, where a mostly white jury found George Zimmerman not guilty of murder or manslaughter in the shooting death of…
‘Serial Killer Supermarket’ Draws Controversy
A Cambodian chain of supermarkets has come up with an ingenious idea to deal with the countries massive population and turn a profit, but the new out of the box idea has been raising a few eyebrows and other facial…
“Gun of Passion” Argument Likely to Acquit Zimmerman
SANFORD – The prospects of George Zimmerman’s conviction are looking grim after his defense lawyers presented an incredible, jaw-dropping defense of the former neighborhood watchman: the gun of passion. Zimmerman’s attorneys offered the argument after hearing a long, and often…
Conspiracies Abound, But Here’s Some Undeniable Truth
There are so many conspiracy theories out there, but who knows which are true and which are nothing more than steaming mounds of hot, delicious bullshit. Well Glossy News knows, and that’s why we sent our very own reporter out…