Archive | Crime

Man Sued for Copyright Infringement Wins Case

Man Sued for Copyright Infringement Wins Case

Last month, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) and the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), collectively known as the Music And Film Industry Association of America (MAFIAA), filed suit against Stephen Krueger, 22 years old, for wilful infringement of over fifty titles, yet were resoundingly defeated in a unanimous decision yesterday. Continue Reading

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NRA solves gun violence problem: Bullet-proof vests for every American

NRA solves gun violence problem: Bullet-proof vests for every American

A small minority of Americans (estimated to be less than 87%) were shocked by recent remarks by Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Association, the world’s largest gun rights lobbying organization.

In his remarks LaPierre argued forcefully that the problem is not that there are too many guns in America. The problem is that there are not enough of them. Putting the blame for youth violence squarely where it belongs, LaPierre argued that the problem is not that deadly weapons are almost as easy to buy as toothpaste. Continue Reading

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Siege Of NRA Headquarters By Outraged Citizens Enters Its Second Day.

Siege Of NRA Headquarters By Outraged Citizens Enters Its Second Day.

The siege at the NRA Headquarters has entered its second day. Irate citizens, sickened by the NRA’s constant arrogant promotion of guns of mass destruction in society especially in the wake of the child shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School, have repeatedly attacked the facility using suicide bombs and mortars.

Interestingly they have not been using the assault rifles and hardcore guns that the NRA is famous for insisting on fronting for arms dealers. Instead, they have decided to vent their feelings Iraqi style. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Strange People4 Comments

NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry

NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry

The National Rifle Association, caught like a raccoon in the headlights by the shooting of grade school children, has been awfully quiet since the incident.

The shooting puts them in a very negative light since they support the sales of the very weapons that tore up the bodies of the little kids at Sandy Hook.

They have finally announced that they will be holding a press conference on the Friday after the tragedy, a move that has certainly bought them some valuable time to go over the collateral damage this has done (not to the kids, but rather to their image) and, most importantly to them, how to get back to making those big bucks pushing guns with maximum kill ratios. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Strange People3 Comments

Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial

Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial

LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”.

The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and there is no word, yet, regarding how much time passed before his stomach was pumped. This is only the second Fig Newton related case confirmed in the United States within the last year. Continue Reading

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Popular Editor Fired From Part-time Mall Santa Job

Popular Editor Fired From Part-time Mall Santa Job

Seattle, WA – (SatireWorld.com) – At the Dingleberry Regional Mall there was a bit of excitement during the first official day of the holiday shopping season…Mall officials fired Santa Claus!

The Christmas holiday season in this part of Washington state is usually started by the opening of the Santa Claus portion of the mall’s large atrium where a fully garbed Santa sits and holds toddlers and adults on his knee hoping to grant them ‘Christmas Wishes’. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Kidz Zone2 Comments

Russian Man Dresses 20 Dead Women, Has Tea with Them

Russian Man Dresses 20 Dead Women, Has Tea with Them

Nizhny Novgorod, Russia – (SatireWorld.com) Police in Russia have arrested a man after discovering that he had at least 20 dressed-up female bodies hidden in his apartment.

Russian police suspect that historian Anatoly Moskvin, 45, would dress in black clothing and sneak into cemeteries during the night to dig up the dead bodies, then dress them up in his apartment Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Society2 Comments

Hacker McKinnon Facing Extradition to Jabba the Hutt’s Planet

Hacker McKinnon Facing Extradition to Jabba the Hutt’s Planet

British computer hacker Gary McKinnon, whose extradition to the US was blocked on humanitarian grounds by UK Home Secretary Theresa May today, now faces a prospect nearly as terrifying: being sent for punishment on the alien planet of Tatooine.

McKinnon has long claimed that his hacking was aimed at discovering the truth about UFOs. It seems that he has now incurred the wrath of the Tatooine premier, Jabba the Hutt, by probing into the question of alien life a little too closely. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, World News3 Comments

Who Is Really Behind The Mysterious Florida Post Office Crashes?

Who Is Really Behind The Mysterious Florida Post Office Crashes?

The Florida Postal Service has made an unusual request of their local patronage- to stop running into their Post Offices with their autos (see Yahoo News).

There have recently been eight crashes supposedly due to ‘old timers’ tapping the gas pedal instead of the brake.

Unbeknown to the Postal authorities there is an FBI scan that has tied the incidents to Florida Al Queda operatives who are dispatching suicide bombers to take out the facilities.

Unfortunately for them, their bomb parts were sent by mail from Saudi Arabia and didn’t arrive in time for their missions. The bombers were forced to hit their targets without their bombs, a move that probably lost them at least 40 of their 76 virgins in the after life.

A second possibility that Federal agents are investigating is that some of the crashers were actually laid off Postal workers going postal in a new way. They are taking a cue from Al Queda and attempting to try suicide explosives as a way of venting their grievances permanently.

Unfortunately they ordered their bomb parts with next day delivery by UPS and also came up empty handed when the parcels came in the day after their spectacle.

More new developments will be posted as they occur.

NEW DEVELOPMENTS WE ARE POSTING THAT HAVE OCCURRED IN ‘POSTAL CAR CRASHING EPIDEMIC’- Since the news has been leaked of the FBI findings that Al Queda is behind the Post Office crashings senior citizens out of boredom have been racing to Post Offices to see the fireworks and are themselves crashing into the facilities.

Authorities are recommending that the elderly stay at home, hide under their tables and do as they are told.

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The NRA Experiments With Mexican Cartel Sales Tactics

The NRA Experiments With Mexican Cartel Sales Tactics

As Marcus Nowlberg walked down the sidewalk in his hometown of Suburbiaville, Colorado one August evening, little did he know that his life was about to about to change dramatically.

“Hey kid!” a creepy voice yelled out of the alley he was passing. “Wanna make some big money?”

“What’s up?” replied Marcus, a bit frightened. He couldn’t quite make out the middle aged man who called out to him from the darkness, but he could see that he was wearing a 50’s style fedora and a trench coat. “Oh nuts!” he thought, “Another pervert wanting to flash me!” Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime14 Comments

Man’s Custom Motorcycle Causes Accidents in NYC

Man’s Custom Motorcycle Causes Accidents in NYC

New York City, NY – (SatireWorld.com)

Most motorcycles don’t get a second glance, in fact, are mostly un-noticed while roaring down America’s streets and highways, except one owned by Stuart P. Mitchell who has received a summons from the NYPD for causing a multiple car accident on West Side Highway during early evening rush hour traffic. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime6 Comments

New York City Criminals Finding Ways to Enjoy 32oz & Larger Sodas

New York City Criminals Finding Ways to Enjoy 32oz & Larger Sodas

New York City underworld figures and other criminals have been devising clever tactics to circumvent the recently enacted New York ‘Soda Law’, according to anonymous sources.

The new law expressly prohibits movie theaters, snack bars, fast food joints and other eating establishments from selling soft drinks in excess of 16oz. However, the new law has not discouraged some New Yorkers from enjoying their huge beverages. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime11 Comments

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