Category: Crime
Libertarians Claim James Gandolfini Killed By CIA
In the wake of The Sopranos star James Gandolfini’s sudden death,libertarians everywhere are saying the actor was assassinated by the Central Intelligence Agency. Just after getting word of the Gandolfini’s tragic passing, the website ronpaulrulz posted the following conspiratorial explanation:
Mysterious Explosions Rock Goodsprings
Two days ago, the people of the sleepy town of Goodsprings, who had successfully fought off a group of Powder Gangers only some days before, experienced a series of gas explosions which levelled most of the inhabited buildings. The mysterious…
Feds to Renew Hunt For Jimmy Hoffa
After failing to find his body in a field in Oakland Township, MI, federal authorities announced today that they have found several other locations throughout the United States that may be hiding the body of former Teamsters Boss Jimmy Hoffa….
Batman to Spend More Time in Jail than Rapists
Gotham— Crime rates have dramatically dropped in this great city since the emergence of Batman. With the government’s best in the pockets of Gotham’s worst, it seemed like the role of the law was to look the other way. That’s…
Supreme Court OKs Police to Collect Suspects’ DNA, Suspects Excited for Free Handjobs
WASHINGTON — In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court voted 5-4 this week to allow police to collect the DNA of person(s) suspected of “serious” crimes, exciting suspects across the country who are eager to receive their free handjobs. Despite…
Prostitute Asks Colleague “Have You Ever Been Arrested?” (comic)
We’ve all been there. We’ve all asked our co-worker for an ounce of advice, and in too many cases, the question is misunderstood. This comic speaks precisely to that. Click on the image to see it full-sized. Brian is on…
NRA Promotes New Mass Shootings to Stimulate Gun Sales
The NRA, flush with a victory over the US Government and common sense in general with their defeat of all gun bills, has decided to keep on a roll and create more gun sales by stimulating more mass shootings. Observing…
Travesty of Virginia Deeming Sodomy Legal (comic)
Virginia may ostensibly be for lovers, but recent legislation sought to restrict exactly which kinds of love that could be. Specifically, they wished to ban sodomy. This would mean no oral varieties or hinterlands sorts, but the bill was struck…
Drunk Telephone Pole Hits Pedestrian
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Capitol Hill is under lockdown after reports that an intoxicated telephone pole hit a pedestrian walking by his position on Constitution Avenue. The assault allegedly occurred early Saturday morning after a pair of street lamps to the…
Black Rescuer Lucky He Didn’t Get His Ass Thrown In Jail During Rescue
It fortunately went so miraculously well. A girl held hostage for ten years breaks free of her bonds and manages to get to the door of her captors house. She yells through the mail slot that she needs help and…