Posted in Biz News Gadgets & Gizmos

Apple to Remotely Disable All iPhone 4S Models and Older 7 Days After iPhone 6 Release

CALIFORNIA: In a statement released today by Apple CEO Tim Cook, all iPhone models 4S and older are scheduled to be shut down and remotely wiped seven days after the release of the iPhone 6 on September 9th. “Customers who…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

NRA Demands US Government Outlaw Drones Despite 2nd Amendment

In a strange reversal of policy the NRA has demanded that the U.S. make a ban on drones very much like the ban on guns that they have so heatedly fought against in the past. Speaking at a press conference…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Gadgets & Gizmos

Cooper Brand Pooper Scoopers are Super-Duper Cooper Scoopers

Montgomery County, Pennsylvania – Assisting residents in cleaning up the debris left behind from their crushed dreams of having locally born celebrity, Bradley Cooper, win an Academy Award are Cooper Industries’ pooper scoopers that have been flying off the shelves…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Text Walking to Become New Olympic Sport

Rio de Janeiro – Text walking will become the newest sport to be part of the Olympic Games starting in Rio in 2016. The act of texting while walking has never been considered a sport but since so few people…

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Posted in Biz News Gadgets & Gizmos

Business down the drainpipe for Mario Brothers

WORKERS have spoken of their sadness at a family run plumbing business has gone bust after 33 years trading. A group of plumbers in Louisville, KY announced last night that, the Mario Brothers Plumbing Ltd was to go into administration…

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Posted in Entertainment Gadgets & Gizmos

Video Game Makers Reach Around to Senior Citizens

As the video game industry continues to mature, game makers are scrambling to create the next generation of games designed specifically for a maturing demographics. You can give the older gamers a fancier avatar, but it’s a lot harder to…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Internets Tubes

Come on, Google ChromeCast, You Know What We Want

Google came out with an innovative product at an amazing price. For just $35 you can get a clever HDMI device to plug into your Hi-Def TV to receive broadcast video from nearly any wireless device in your home. But…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

78% of Radio Shack 1993 Catalog Is on Your Phone, but Better

I recently got to reminiscing of days gone by. When I was young, carefree, and studied the Radio Shack catalog even more religiously than religion, and I was religious. When I realized, all those gizmos and gadgets I so desperately…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Starving Artists call the Internet a Vast Communist Conspiracy

Millions of underemployed or out-of-work citizens of Canada, Europe, and the United States took to the streets to protest the internet as a vast communist conspiracy. Moreover, many Westerners are flocking to China, praising its pervasive censorship of the internet…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos World News

Santa Claus finally sells out; cashes in

This Christmas, you might notice something a little different when you look up into the sky and see Santa and his reindeer in flight delivering presents to children all over the world. In an unprecedented partnership, global shipping giant FedEx®…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Smart Phones Turn their Users into A#$holes, Researchers say

Dateline: BERKELEY– While many Americans are reeling from the news that the NSA is spying on their locations by tracking their mobile devices, social scientists are concerned about a more existential threat: those devices are turning people into a#$holes.

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Toy Mandibles Empower Weak-Jawed Masses

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—There’s a hot new product that’s flying off the shelves. It’s called Gravitas Jaws and it consists of a crude plastic mandible bone that’s worn over your lower jaw like a beard, except that this piece of plastic…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Talky Pictures

Shia LaBeouf Makes Cameo in ‘Black Friday IV’ Trailer

Shia LaBeouf plays a sexy, sharpshooting stranger in the new live-action trailer for “Black Friday IV,” due out Nov. 7 for PlayStation and XBox. The minute-long trailer, set in the post-Thanksgiving Day ruins of a large retail outlet, features a…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Society

Elderly Woman Sends Text Message

INDIANAPOLIS – An elderly woman became the talk of her family today after miraculously turning on a cellular phone and successfully typing, and then sending, a 23-word text message to her 18-year-old grandson. Maureen Hamilton, 84, is believed to have…

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Posted in Biz News Gadgets & Gizmos

Nine Nasty Reasons to Never Shop at Best Buy

It would be too easy to go into the daily fraud perpetrated by suckering trusting customers into buying gold-plated HDMI cables. Sure, they sell cables at 5,000% markup on the odd hour, but that aside, they’re terrible, incompetent and wholly…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Man Flicking Hair off Kindle Screen Plunges Self Right into IMDb Spoilers Section

BOISE, ID—While browsing the Internet Movie Database on his Kindle Saturday evening, transit vehicle inspector Ted Coakley reportedly set out to remove a hair from the screen of the device by flicking it, causing him to plummet well into the…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Smartphone User Glad He Doesn’t Have to Have Series of Interesting Thoughts

CHICAGO—While using his phone to browse an online forum where users rank their favorite vacation spots, Roger Howton reflected with great fondness on the fact that he didn’t have to use his imagination for a single moment to wonder about…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Human Interest

Important safety alert: The dangers of texting while breathing

In our increasingly technology-bound culture, cell phone use has exploded over the past decade. A recent report indicates there are now more cell phones in the USA than people, and three times more cell phone users than people who can…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos Technology

Local scientist and teen killed in freak Delorean accident

An eccentric inventor and local teen were killed yesterday when the Delorean in which they were riding crashed into a wall at about 90 mph. Martin McFly, 18, and Dr. Emmett ‘Doc’ Brown, age unavailable, were pronounced “really dead” at…

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Posted in Gadgets & Gizmos

Apple’s iOS 7 to Feature Impressive, Radically Redesigned Glitches

CUPERTINO, CALIF — Apple recently unveiled the new iOS 7 operating system, which CEO Tim Cook is hailing as “the most radical redesign of iOS glitches since the iPhone was invented.” According to Apple’s VP of Software Engineering, Leonard Umbrage,…

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