Category: Making Headlines
Vladivostok to sever ties with the Commonwealth of Independent States
Vladivostok a population of 600,000 and Administrative Center of Primorsky Krai is seriously considering ending its membership in the Commonwealth of Independent States. The city sits on the Muravyov-Amursky Peninsula that is thirty-two kilometers long and five kilometers wide. Yurin…
Communist Party No More!
Minsk, Belarus. In a stunning and literal collapse the Communist Party headquarters, with the sound of a small whump, collapsed killing the entire party leadership controlling the Belarus government. With one exception, the Socialist Sporting Party, the 9.4 million Belarusians…
Mama Grizzly Sarah Palin Is Running for Congress (“Ya betcha I’ll win,” ex-Alaska governor says as she lays out her platform)
Hiya Folks!–Mama Grizzly Sarah Palin comin’ at ya from my hometown of Wasilla in the great state of Alaska. Case ya’all didn’t hear, I’m runnin’ for the U.S. Congress to wipe out those Libs and Commies ruinin’ our country. And I…
Lindsey Graham Indicted for Murder Conspiracy by Moscow Grand Jury
Moscow (TASS). In a shocking announcement, the Constitutional Court of Russia has handed down conspiracy to commit murder indictments against Senator Lindsey (“I am not defective”) Graham (R-SC) and co-conspirator Lev Parnas. The charges include threatening bodily harm…“The only way…
Trump Claims “Afternoon Delights” Alibi
Washington, DC (AP). Under attack for the missing White House call logs, former President Donald Trump said, “there are no call logs because there were simply no calls made during that time period! You guys can make all the stink you want…
Vladimir Putin–The Dictators’ Dictator (He’s One Mean Dude and Proud of It)
Hey Comrades, Vladimir Putin here. I’m in the Kremlin sitting at my 20-foot-long table far away from my sniveling, simpering bunch of lapdogs and lackeys as I set about on my conquest of the world. Yes Siree Bob, I’m the…
Heavyweight Chris Rock/Will Smith Oscar Bout: 30 Other Potential Blockbuster Hollywood Ring Meetings
— Javier Bardem vs. Nicole Kidman [The Ricardos really go at it] — Martin Sheen vs. Ronald Reagan [The liberal and conservative both played Presidents] — Brad Pitt vs. Billy Bob Thornton [A JOLIE match for the…
Majorie Taylor Green (MJT) and her Lover Accused of Bestiality
Washington, DC (AP). In an article published in the Journal of Animal Ethics (JAE), MJT and her veterinarian lover have been accused of being “bestophiles.” Reminiscent of the “compromat” speculation surrounding Donald Trump’s toady like support and bromance with Vladimir Putin, similar allegations are…
Sexist Scouting Report from Your Hoops Junkie Friend: Your Favorite March Madness Cheerleader
During March Madness, that one cheerleader beguiled you even as your brackets were busting. Here’s the scouting report you might see about her from that politically incorrect Hoops Junkie friend who touts her for you to ride through the Sweet…
Evangelical Lutheran Pastor Accidentally Performs Successful Exorcism Without Roman Rituals
Davenport, Iowa. Sources recently confirmed that 47-year-old Evangelical Lutheran Pastor Bob Smith performed a flawless exorcism last Thursday despite having no copy of the Roman Rituals or anything else in the long Catholic tradition of expelling demons. Initially terrified and…