Category: Television
Millionaire Tricks CNN into Stopping its Coverage of Missing Malaysian Plane
Dateline: ATLANTA—Elderly oddball millionaire, Huey Longbottom, shuns the internet and receives all of his news from CNN, but taking no interest in the missing Malaysian plane, which CNN has covered exhaustively for several weeks, Longbottom orchestrated several bizarre spectacles to…
Physicist Detects Origin of CBS Hit “The Big Bang Theory”
CAMBRIDGE, MA – This week physicist Dr. George H. Gebbins finally pinpointed the very beginning of what has been called The Big Bang Theory, thanks to the detection of essentially a beam of light that has been traveling the universe…
Cosmos Show Embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches
Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Dozens of churches in the United States are collectively suing the producers of Cosmos, the reboot of the television show previously hosted by Carl Sagan, for “stealing the Christian shtick.” The filed complaint was obtained by the press…
Oklahoma TV Station “Accidentally” Cuts 38-Minutes from Cosmos Evolution Episode
Last week, controversy erupted when the local FOX affiliate in Oklahoma City allegedly suffered technical difficulties during the only 14-seconds dealing with evolution. Perhaps the Lord moves in ways more mysterious than we’d imagined. Host Neil DeGrasse Tyson explained that…
FOX Television Found To Be Riddled
The conservative news agency FOX News has been found to be riddled with subversives, anarchic souls whose unwholesome lifestyles do not conform to FOX’s strict right leaning policies. Even more surprising, some of these cancerous maladies that weaken the proud…
Kardashians Slam Kendall Jenner’s “Boob Walk”
The Internet is all a twitter over Kendall Jenner’s romp down the catwalk at Thurdays New York Fashion Week dressed in a shear, boob flaunting Marc Jacobs original. It didn’t take long for the fur to fly. In a tweet…
Duck Dynasty’s Uncle Si Fires Assistant Over Clean Tea Cup
Anyone who watches the A & E reality hit show Duck Dynasty, is familiar with not only Uncle Si, but his perpetual sidekick, a vintage Tupperware tumbler he carries everywhere he goes. Si is never without a container of sweet…
Duck Dynasty Unveils New Line Of Dog Whistle Calls
Dogpatch, LA – Willie Robertson, CEO and patriarch in waiting for the Duck Dynasty Empire has announced a new line of silent dog whistle calls for non hunters to be rolled out in 2014. The initial lineup will include four…
Duck Dynasty Tops WWE and Pawnstars W/E 1/26
Cable TV results are in for W/E 1/26 and Duck Dynasty at 6.6 million viewers easily beats out its cable reality competition. World Wrestling Entertainment came in at 5.2, 5.0 and 4.3 million for its three Monday shows and Pawnstars…
“Walking Dead” Writers Smoke Crack, Kill Off Entire Cast
Hollywood, CA – Hollywood gossip site “Scuttlebutt” has learned this season of Walking Dead will be it’s last as every single cast member dies. Talking to writers of the show on condition of anonymity, one stated after fan favorite Herschel…