Archive | Television

David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon

David Letterman Accepts Sex Revelations Humility, Ratings Boon

David Letterman has been preaching a daily tell-all on his nightly TV shows, almost boasting about his sexual exploits with his staff. His ratings have gone through the roof and other late night TV hosts are now paying attention to this gimmick, which has leapt him ahead in the cut-throat TV ratings game. Continue Reading

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David Letterman’s Top-10 Countdown to Adultery Absolution

David Letterman’s Top-10 Countdown to Adultery Absolution

Alleged philanderer David Letterman has recently found himself at the losing end of an extortion/cover-up of his extra-extra-extra marital affairs having taken place between himself and an undisclosed, but presumably impressive, number of his female staff members. Continue Reading

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Arkansas Mum Has 19th Nervous Breakdown

Arkansas Mum Has 19th Nervous Breakdown

Bobbie-Joe Muffitch from Twattown, Arkansas, is expecting her 19th new arrival in March next year. Continue Reading

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Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck Show Saved By Good Ol’ Boy Advertisers

Glenn Beck is seeing his conventional ad revenues dry up due to his escalation of hate rhetoric, but the redneck community is coming to his aid to help keep him on the air. Continue Reading

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Darth Cheney Memoirs Basis for FOX-TV Reality Show

Darth Cheney Memoirs Basis for FOX-TV Reality Show

UNDISCLOSED, DELAWARE – Former VP Dick “Darth” Cheney announced today that he has retained the Trump Organization and The Donald as co-executive producers of his new “Memoirs” reality show to air on Fox this fall. Continue Reading

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Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

Sharon Osbourne’s Reputation as Typical Bee-Hotch Unbroken

I’ve seen that Sharon Osbourne and wondered how much of the icy face we see is put on by MTV and how much of it is the machinations of her own inner demons. Between the erratic behavior on her American obscure end cable show and what I’ve learned from the likes of Ricky Gervais, I had to wonder, but when I finally got my screener copy of the BBC hidden camera show “Balls of Steel”, I knew for sure… that lady isn’t just crazy, she’s straight up evil, almost as if she’s trying to reinvent the very devil herself. Continue Reading

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Aniston & Pitt Split, Fan Masturbation Hits New High

Aniston & Pitt Split, Fan Masturbation Hits New High

Hollywood – Brad Pitt has aknowleged that his “seven years in T’Bitch” has officially ended. With both Pitt and his A-list ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston back on the dating scene, surveys have shown that instances of fan masturbation are reaching new highs, indeed, bordering on epidemic. Continue Reading

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Bryant Gumbel Publishes “Almost Black Like Me”

Bryant Gumbel Publishes “Almost Black Like Me”

Fanfare accompanied critical praise this week as the New York Times best seller list welcomed it’s newest member. Rave reviews came from white, black, latino and Asian critics, all claiming him as a member of their own. Continue Reading

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Rescue 911 Bloopers – Hilarious Medical Misadventure Romp

Rescue 911 Bloopers – Hilarious Medical Misadventure Romp

The hottest selling video in the country right now is the sleeper “RESCUE 911: Too Sad For TV”, a compilation of stories with some hilarious goofs that weren’t aired on the original Rescue 911 series on CBS. Released a month ago, it has climbed to the top of the sales chart, passing Spiderman and selling three million copies over the past week. Continue Reading

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Barbara Walters Goes Out in Public Without Soft Focus Blur, Thousands Terrified

Barbara Walters Goes Out in Public Without Soft Focus Blur, Thousands Terrified

LOS ANGELES – ABC anchorwoman Barbara Walters ventured forth from her home in the hills just like any other day- but this time she forgot the soft focus blur that has become a staple for any appearance she makes, on television or otherwise. The crippling shock of seeing the 109-year-old Walters without her vanity mask of soft focus blur caused a massive accident on Rodeo Dr. in Beverly Hills, killing 16 motorists and passengers and seven pedestrians. Continue Reading

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