Archive | Television

Colbert’s Nation Rallies for War, Raises Battle Capital

Colbert’s Nation Rallies for War, Raises Battle Capital

There’s little debating the power of Stephen Colbert and the Colbert Nation. It has amongst the youngest news audience out there (80% of his viewers are in the coveted 18-49 demographic, according to a recent Pew Poll,) but the bigger story is Colbert’s ability to rally them to support any given cause. Take for instance the fan-advocated goal of raising $100,000 for underfunded school programs. Impossible? Maybe not. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Internets Tubes, Television7 Comments

FlashForward Coming Back to Prime Time this Fall?

FlashForward Coming Back to Prime Time this Fall?

According to producers of the one-season wonder television show FlashForward, the show has been rescheduled to appear for another five seasons with a guaranteed story arc. Fans from around the world want to believe the show will return, but having seen the show, they admit they never know what to believe. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Television3 Comments

‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Leaves Vast Greasy Oil Slick Off NJ Beach

‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Leaves Vast Greasy Oil Slick Off NJ Beach

EPA officials issued a temporary restraining order against the cast and crew of the popular MTV show ‘Jersey Shore.’ The restraining order cited the discovery of a 14 mile greasy oil slick that spread northward from Seaside Heights up to Sandy Hook caused by the cast taking a dip in the surf last weekend. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Environment, Television0 Comments

Church Says Censoring Muhammad Violates Equal Opportunity Hate

Church Says Censoring Muhammad Violates Equal Opportunity Hate

In a classic U-turn change of mind the creators of the popular pint sized animated television show “South Park” decided to sensor their 200th episode. This preceded an almost global outcry from Muslims following the depiction of Muhammad [saw] in a brown bear suit alongside making fun of other religious figures such as Jesus and Buddha who interestingly remained ‘uncensored’. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television1 Comment

Keith Olbermann Announces 174th Day of Mind-Numbing Ordinariness in Columbus, Ohio

Keith Olbermann Announces 174th Day of Mind-Numbing Ordinariness in Columbus, Ohio

As every viewer of Countdown with Keith Olbermann on MSNBC knows, at the very end of his show, Keith Olbermann makes a point of counting down the days from when Bush declared “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq, the beginning of the Iraq war, and more recently, the day of the oil rig explosion that killed 9 oil workers in the Gulf of Mexico.

Facing criticisms for his negative view of the world, Olbermann has been asked why he only focuses on issues over which we have no control when he could be bringing to light matters that we may be able to turn around for the better. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Entertainment, Television1 Comment

Forget Doomsday Prophecies; Beer Prices are Skyrocketing

Forget Doomsday Prophecies; Beer Prices are Skyrocketing

SOMEWHERE, USA (GlossyNews) — Another Friday the 13th came and went without incident. It’s as if the Universe doesn’t take itself seriously anymore. Mars can run retrograde and Saturn can be humping Venus (relatively speaking of course) and still life goes on without so much as a blip.

Until now. Quietly staying behind in the shadows was the bad news of the century waiting its turn to slap the face of every serious beer guzzler out there. Thursday’s business section, August 12th, jumping the gun on every conceivable Friday the 13th doomsday scenario, “The price of a pint may be going up 40%!” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Human Interest, Television0 Comments

Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress Americas Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act

Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress Americas Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act

CHICAGO, Illinois (GlossyNews) — Things got a little strange Wednesday night in Chicago when a one-man act by the name of Arcus Temporis came on stage armed only with a chalkboard and a piece of chalk and an eraser.

“What is your name?” asked Piers Morgan of this wild-eyed man. In a Swedish accent, the man gave his name, “I am Arcus Temporis and I am 87 years olt,” he said as he took in the huge crowd he stood before.

“And what are you here to do for us tonight, Arcus?” said Piers. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Science, Television0 Comments

FlashForward Cancelled, and Five Reasons Why That’s Good

FlashForward Cancelled, and Five Reasons Why That’s Good

The high-budget ABC sci-fi less-than-thriller known as Flashforward has been canceled, and by a few accounts, it’s a tragedy. By many more accounts, however it’s a good thing, and here are just five of the biggest reasons why that’s actually the case. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television, Top Stories99 Comments

Here’s How American Idol Can Save (or ruin) the 2011 Season

Here’s How American Idol Can Save (or ruin) the 2011 Season

American Idol easily established itself as a ratings powerhouse in its first season, but now that Paula has left the show, and Simon has likewise finished his last show (though for very different reasons,) the viability of the franchise is up in the air. Here are some of the ways the show can save itself, or ruin itself, moving forward. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television1 Comment

Comedy Central Censors Own Press Release About South Park Censoring

Comedy Central Censors Own Press Release About South Park Censoring

Dothan, Al (GlossyNews) — After a week of controversy surrounding the censorship of an episode of the animated series South Park for mentioning the Prophet Muhammad, Comedy Central announced today it would also be censoring it’s own press release on the subject.  A spokesman for Comedy Central said they received another veiled threat from the Islamic group Revolution Muslim about the press release because it had, just like the show, referenced the prophet by name.
 
Comedy Central responded to the threat by re-releasing the original press release with all the sections referring to Muhammad redacted. Executives at Comedy Central say they were doing what they felt was in the best interest of their employees safety. Continue Reading
Share

Posted in Television1 Comment

Secret Murdoch Tapes Threaten to Expose Palin and Beck as Puppets

Secret Murdoch Tapes Threaten to Expose Palin and Beck as Puppets

At Sea, South Pacific (GlossyNews) — Rumors are swirling in back alleys and executive washrooms about the handful of tapes that, if made public, could blow the lid off Rupert Murdoch’s hold on American politics, bringing Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and others down with him in the fallout. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television0 Comments

Glenn Beck Found Naked, Confused Wandering Along Highway

Glenn Beck Found Naked, Confused Wandering Along Highway

New Canaan, Connecticut – Fox Television and radio personality, Glenn Beck was found wandering along Merritt Parkway close to his home in New Canaan, Connecticut early Thursday morning around 2 a.m. He was naked and confused and muttering “don’t freakin’ tread on me, don’t freakin’ tread on Glenn Beck, for I am your Savior,” and was taken to the nearest hospital for observation. He was openly weeping. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Television3 Comments

‘Survivor’ Producer’s Wife Voted Off Planet

‘Survivor’ Producer’s Wife Voted Off Planet

MEXICO CITY, Mexico (GlossyNews) — Emmy nominated reality television producer Bruce Beresford-Redman has been detained as a suspect in the killing of Monica Beresford-Redman, his wife. According to officials in Cancun, the body of Monica Beresford-Redman was found in a sewer at the Moon Palace resort where the family was on vacation.

Beresford-Redman was nominated for three Emmys for his work on “Survivor,” in which groups of strangers are sent to exotic wilderness locales around the world to compete for prizes. His other production credits include “Pimp My Ride” and “Crash Course.” Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television0 Comments

Tough Love Forces Florida Man Back to Crime (on TV)

Tough Love Forces Florida Man Back to Crime (on TV)

State Road 19, Near Tavares, Fla (GlossyNews) — Local man, Hank Fuller, arrived home last Wednesday and noticed something amiss. As he entered the house he could see his friends, family and at least one priest sitting in every available chair but one placed prominently in the middle of the floor.

“Don’t be alarmed, these are people who care about you and want to help you, now have a seat,“ said mediator and therapist, Dr. Lorena Schlutz. “We are here to help you get over your aversion to the variety of crime dramas on TV that are a main source of entertainment for everyone in America. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television0 Comments

CBS to Air New “Sonny” and Cher Show

CBS to Air New “Sonny” and Cher Show

Carmel, CA (GlossyNews) — In a blast from the past, CBS is planning a new version of the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour starring recently masculated Chaz Bono as “Sonny.”

David Cassidy, who will also co-star on the show, says CBS was lucky to find a cadre of writers from the original series who are busy resurrecting what they hope will be a repeat of the original show’s success. “Yes, we are lucky and excited to be included in the CBS fall line-up. If you close your eyes it’s like you were whisked back in time when you hear it. It’s like coming home again.” Said Cassidy. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television1 Comment

Fox Un-cancels “24” Amid Rumors of Threats from Sutherland

Fox Un-cancels “24” Amid Rumors of Threats from Sutherland

An Undisclosed Island in the Pacific Ocean (GlossyNews) — Only days after canceling the television series 24, Fox announced today that it had reversed it’s decision and decided to pick the show up for a ninth and final season. The announcement came just as tabloid websites were reporting that Kiefer Sutherland, star of the popular action thriller, had begun intimidating and threatening executives at Fox over the shows early demise.

The execs say there is “absolutely no truth” to the rumors and that the renewal was just a change of heart Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Television2 Comments

We Made a Movie!


Check us out on Kickstarter!


Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial