Category: Entertainment
Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress Americas Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act
CHICAGO, Illinois (GlossyNews) — Things got a little strange Wednesday night in Chicago when a one-man act by the name of Arcus Temporis came on stage armed only with a chalkboard and a piece of chalk and an eraser. “What…
Kate Gosselin Serves Pet Rooster for Dinner
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — This week’s installment of Kate Plus Eight entitled “We Named the Pet Rooster Jon” has Kate using every opportunity she can to let her audience know in no uncertain terms that her life is shit because…
Switzerland Pardons ‘Barefoot Bandit’
CARVILLE, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Posted by your South America (and also Caribbean) correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. We didn’t know, so we checked around. Nobody else knew either. And I’m talking smart people here? Geraldo Rivera, the internationally respected dean…
Palin Stealth-Launches 2018 Campaign w/ Tween Biography
It seems Sarah Palin is looking to expand her approval among likely voters by looking in an unlikely place; the not-too-distant future. If she can dominate the emerging evangelist demographic, it may be enough to just push the vote, and…
Movie Review: ‘South of the Border’ is Dumb
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. RIO DE JANEIRO, Brasil (NovedadesGlossy) US opening weekend, the new Oliver Stone documentary grossed $21,545. Don’t let that low gross fool you; this film is highly gross. It’s grosser than…
Scholar Proves Bacon and Marlowe Works Written by Shakespeare
LONDON BRIDGE, Lake Havasu City, Arizona (GlossyNews) — In a recent, controversial paper for The Journal of Cultural History and Aesthetic Identity, historian Leonard Zelig claims that the works of late sixteenth century cultural giants Christopher Marlowe and Francis Bacon…
U.S./Russia to Exchange Spies – Lohan, Gibson Included in Deal
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — In a throwback to the days of the Cold War, the U.S. and Russia will reportedly exchange individuals that each side has charged with spying. The 10 people arrested by the FBI on June 27…
American Poodle Club Rushes to Distance Itself from Gore Scandal
PORTLAND, Oregon (GlossyNews) — Police in Portland, Oregon are reopening their investigation into allegations that Al Gore groped and forced himself onto a masseuse at a local hotel in 2006. While not much has been made public about that incident,…
Gore Claims He Invented the ‘Happy Ending’
BALLSTON, Virginia (GlossyNews) — Mired amid controversy of alleged infidelity and sexual misconduct, former Vice President and prominent global warming activist, Al Gore, angrily dismissed these accusations today at a press corps luncheon.
Obama Receives Hockey’s Lady Byng Award
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, New York, NY (GlossyNews) — A puck rang off the iron heads of the NHL’s finest this weekend as Gary Bettman announced Barack Obama recipient of the coveted Lady Byng award. The players, who had waited all…