Movie Review: ‘South of the Border’ is Dumb

Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

RIO DE JANEIRO, Brasil (NovedadesGlossy) US opening weekend, the new Oliver Stone documentary grossed $21,545. Don’t let that low gross fool you; this film is highly gross. It’s grosser than naked pictures of Woody Allen.

The movie is Mr. Stone running around South America talking to politicians. Talk, talk, talk and it goes on for hours like that! Oh sure, there’s a little bit about some villages getting electricity, and that is a great thing. When I imagine those poor girls living in villages without blow driers, it about makes me cry. Don’t be thinking there’s much of that in ‘South of the Border’ though. It’s mostly ugly fat guys talking.

We dozed off a few times, but it seems like what Oliver is getting at? There is an emerging group of Latin American leaders who reject US dominance. So here we have a rich gringo making a movie ‘explaining’ South America. I guess Oliver skipped class the day they covered irony in film school.

Now, we’re from South America and we can shoot you straight. It is true that indigenous peoples have been exploited for too long. But it’s partly their fault. They dress funny, you should see them! People who want to project dignity shouldn’t go around in homemade clothes, that’s all we’re saying.

This is the part of the review where we tell how ‘South of the Border’ could’ve been a better film. Some car chases would help a lot! And get Benicio Del Toro to play Chavez, that’d be good too.

Oh yeah hermana, Benicio is hot! What I didn’t like is there’s no romance in it; except for maybe that Oliver guy has a crush on Hugo. Salma Hayek should’ve been in the movie.

I totally disagree with you on Salma Hayek. She’s like Hollywood got together and decided one chica gets all the Latina roles; give some other girl a chance for a change.
So in conclusion, don’t go see ‘South of the Border’ unless you have the insomnia.

Yeah, it’s more like ‘South of the Boring.’

That’s funny Consuela, ‘South of the Boring.’


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