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Van Morrison Files for Bankruptcy Despite Not Being an American

Van Morrison Files for Bankruptcy Despite Not Being an American

This article was written and published as a satire on the fiscal state of wasteful celebrities, specifically Nicolas Cage, who has earned vast fortunes but still went broke. We learned that some have taken this farce as fact, but wish to set the record straight. This story IN NO WAY reflects upon Mr. Morrison and he has NOT filed for bankruptcy. He was simply chosen because his music has remained timelessly brilliant throughout the decades.

DUBLIN – Irish singer and curmudgeon Van Morrison has filed for bankruptcy in Irish Bankruptcy Court, according to a notice published on his official website today. The famously gruff singer-songwriter informed his fans that he has debts of 652 million € and assets of only 40 million € yet he stopped short of accepting responsibility for his financial meltdown. Continue Reading

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RIAA Wants Record Labels to Limit Home CD Use

RIAA Wants Record Labels to Limit Home CD Use

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) has fingered consumers who play CDs repeatedly as “the single greatest threat” to recording industry profits. The industry watchdog group is suggesting, therefore, that record labels take steps to limit the number of times a CD can be played in the home. Continue Reading

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Tiger Records Rock Album in Effort to Change Image

Tiger Records Rock Album in Effort to Change Image

Miami Beach FL (GlossyNews) – As the great Jerry Lee Lewis once sang: “Too much love drives a man insane.” Tiger Woods took a page from the Killer’s book last week and finished recording his own solo album.

The 14 track CD, tentatively titled ‘Can’t Tame This Tiger’, includes his renditions of a number of classic hits such as “Teddy Bear”, “Shot Through The Heart”, “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight”, “Satisfaction”, Continue Reading

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Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick

Billy Bob Thornton Eager to Pick Fights, Expose Inner Dick

Billy Bob Thornton is an Oscar winning writer and Oscar nominated actor, though he’s perhaps best known for his position as the one-time daddy figure husband of Angelina Jolie. He’s also known by literally hundred of the world’s citizens as the powerhouse behind the hillbilly fusion band “The Boxmasters”. Following a particularly humiliating interview on CBC’s Radio Show “Q”, The Boxmasters have been booed off stage and canceled the balance of their Canada tour. Not because of the music, mind you, but because of something much worse. Continue Reading

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J-Lo’s Ass to Secede From the Union

J-Lo’s Ass to Secede From the Union

After months of inflationary pressure and exterior expansion, sources close to J-Lo’s ass are reporting the beefy rump intends to secede from the main body of Ms. Lopez. Continue Reading

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