Kanye West is a Breadophile: Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys

Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center.

The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award reception at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards arrived in a stretch limo and entered the building with a guest he introduced as Kim Karbatchian.

“It’s a difficult thing to digest…The breadsticks I mean…When they’re undercooked,” former Beatle, Paul McCartney said in response to Kanye’s announcement.

Right after arriving, Kanye chatted with several reporters and expressed his love for undercooked breadsticks to the 25.3 million viewers watching on TV. “I want the world to know that bread, in any form, has always been my one true love,” Kanye stated after engaging in a buttery lip-lock with his date.

Kanye kept himself under control for the beginning of the evening, sitting next to his doughy companion for whom he had a special seat installed to keep her warm and her garlic butter from leaking onto the floor.

However, his good behavior ended when the album of the year winner was announced and the artist, Beck, was called to the stage and Kanye also approached. “I thought they said bread!” An irritated Kanye responded to the many who questioned his action afterwards.

In the two days since the act took place, Kanye has taken his love of breadsticks to Twitter (@kanyewest) posting several offensive pictures that have raised the eyebrows of the National Breadstick Association (N.B.A.).

“The photos he has posted of himself performing various acts with undercooked breadsticks are unscrumptiously disturbing,” said President Lindsay Bahkedfriesh, while typing a letter to the Merriam-Webster Company to have the word breadophile Included in their next dictionary release.

“I will not rest until this man is behind bars and nowhere near these fragile creatures,” Bahkedfriesh added.

No charges have been filed against Kanye yet, but that may change as more photos continue to emerge.

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