Author: Wallace Runnymede
Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White,’ Just a Regular Guy (2/2)
The old story continues: I AM NOT WHITE!!! Uh-uh-uhhh! I am Jeb Bush, and I’m not white. Forget it! I’m just a standard-issue regular guy, like every one of you.
Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White,’ Just a Regular Guy (1/2)
The achingly well-meaning notable 3.0 du jour has put his foot in it again. Just read his comments at the recent ‘White Community-Black Community GOP Competitive Co-operation 1000 Dollar Dinner’ in the Seattle Hilton. You know what, I want to…
Rand Paul: ‘Black & LGBT Folks? Just Try Another Bus’
Rand Paul has recently denied the legitimacy of laws forbidding discrimination against LGBT employees. But this is not the only argument he has ever made in this vein. See this transcript of some previously unrevealed comments he made at a…
American Philanthropists Resent Vilification of 80s Tory Leader
Wallace Runnymede is currently being persecuted by the malign and conspiratorial forces of international global justice, for his tiresome, lamentable screed on NewsBiscuit: Estate of Unnamed 80s Tory Leader Arranges ‘Racist Wildebeest’ Superinjunction. This headline has nothing whatsoever to do…
Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (2/2)
Last time: Still, I thought things might pick up a bit when I scouted a better deal at the Baha’is and the Ahmadis. Unfortunately, however, thing didn’t get that much better. I mean, it was an improvement to some degree,…
Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)
Jesus thinks his career has been on the slide for millennia (if not for eternity), and he’s just sick of it. You know, I was once at the absolute top of the pile in the job market. Full-time Son of…
GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials
The GOP’s God Caucus, not to be confused with the voluminous and highly visible, achingly secular GOP majority (about 99% or so!), are keen to prove their feminist credentials once more. Still, up to now, all their other highly conspicuous…
LBJ’s Human Rights Lecture to Glossy News Readers
Hey, everybody! It’s yer best buddy Jumbo Johnson here! Everybody loves a bit of good old NON-GOVERNMENTAL Human Rights Organization shit, huh? That’s right, bitches! Time for one damn fine bit of unpatriotic pinko analysis of the notable patriotic human…
Section 28ers Suffer Backdoor Infiltration: ‘Trot Entryist’ Conspiracy
The gay-bashing sub-Bullington-Boys caucus, the UK’s hetero-supremacist Section 28 caucus, have found themselves in a sticky situation. But this time, it isn’t because a handful of London cabinet ministers and active participants in the scandalous London culture of sexual politics,…
Harry Redknapp’s Resounding Victory over Twitter Trolls
Former rugby legend Bucky Guinstella has begun his long march out of the sporting wilderness, and has embarked upon a new literary career as a Twitter troll. However, the joke seems to be on him, and he is not having much…