The gay-bashing sub-Bullington-Boys caucus, the UK’s hetero-supremacist Section 28 caucus, have found themselves in a sticky situation.
But this time, it isn’t because a handful of London cabinet ministers and active participants in the scandalous London culture of
sexual politics, um, sexual regulation, have suddenly capriciously withdrawn and left the Section 28ers high and dry!
You know, in order to pursue new acts of conquest, and joyously penetrate fresh new virgin territories…
So as to cheaply exploit the material and spiritual resources of their complicit and unprincipled compradors and
Patsies, um, patsies in a measurably fullthroated and hearty manner.
No, it’s nothing like that at all…
Rather, some cynical and mendacious Trot entryists™ from some notable UK
universities, um, student bars, have sworn to deviously penetrate the Section 28 caucus, sneaking in by purely backdoor and underhanded means…
So as to fill the Section 28 caucus, this rather narrow and uptight example of Tory intellectual and political masturbation, with some new vitality…
And better still, a gushy freshman’s dollop of new blood.
And when I say ‘fresh blood,’ I don’t mean a few edgy velveted UKIP or leather-booted National Front candidates that are aching to shake up the previously stale, fusty, and generally prim and proper Conservative Party!
Two or three few bigoted Tory homophobes™ (or maybe four™, at a push), are actually deeply unsatisfied, jittery and anxious.
I mean, they’re totally losing their shit over this!
So, we’ll take it from the top right now, because I want to get this article over and done with before breakfast.
Fiddlesticks! Why, hearken here, old bean, it simply does not matter whether it’s far left or far right!
Why, we do have to find a comfortable middle where we can sit on the fence and just observe the curious and quaintly brute reality from a dispassionate distance, while passionately affirming or denouncing the given tide, the sound and fury of the barbarous and bestial masses, just as it takes our whim and fancy.
However, sadly, there’s just no bottom.
At first I thought this radical politics (sexual or otherwise) was rather threatening and unfamiliar. But one knows what they say, is it not? Why it always does sound, or indeed appear, rather unpleasant and icky at first; but as soon as I actually tasted it for real, I never went back. Nobility obliges, after all; or as all ’em bastard wops and dagos across the Eurochunnel do proclaim, noblesse oblige!
Indeed, one’s been so bally enthusiastic about this new joint-venture in radical performance
theatre,um, cinema, one’s bastard mistresses are probably blahddy well starving by now! Harrah!
Not that one gives the merest piddly-bum-bums… well, one means, a man, eh, a Tory is required to accomplish what a gentleman is required to accomplish!
Or something like that, anyway. HOORAAAYYY! Why, simply chocks away, luvvieshmuggles!