Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White,’ Just a Regular Guy (2/2)

The old story continues:


Uh-uh-uhhh! I am Jeb Bush, and I’m not white.

Forget it! I’m just a standard-issue regular guy, like every one of you.

I mean, it’s great how we can just mingle here as though we were equals… uh, I mean, AS equals.

Well, that’s the great thing about America. You or me can just walk up to any other standard-issue Average Joe in Wall Street or the snake-oil industry, and make ourselves at home.

I don’t know any other country where I could just, you know, walk in, and have a beer with my buddies like we were old friends or something!

Hm! No wonder the freakin’ liberals want to change that, and make some sort of…

Well, anyway. As we’re all good friends here, just you swear YOU won’t call ME ‘white.’ Then I promise I’ll try not to call you ‘black!’

OK? Deal, bro? No jive, yeah? Check it! ^______^

Because, my good friends, if you childishly insist on making this about race, I swear, I’ll just never find a way to avoid unnecessary conflict and disagreement! ~______~

So instead, if we all decide to be, you know, just regular guys (and normal standard-issue homo sapiens ones at that!), it’ll all work out fine in the end.

Later, Reverend Al Sharpton commented on Bush’s warmly patronising monologue:

You got the powercut to your head, son? Nobody is ‘just human,’ until we are ALL treated as equal human beings!

Bush was uncustomarily dismissive.

Wow! That dude is just so damn pedantic. Good old standard-issue folks like me shouldn’t have to put up all this intellectualising.

I mean like I said, I’m just a regular guy. Just like all my fellow straight male Anglo-Saxon buddies here in the GOP!


Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!