Categorized | Human Interest, Politics

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (2/2)

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (2/2)

The old story continues:

I AM NOT WHITE!!!

Uh-uh-uhhh! I am Jeb Bush, and I’m not white.

Forget it! I’m just a standard-issue regular guy, like every one of you.

I mean, it’s great how we can just mingle here as though we were equals… uh, I mean, AS equals.

Well, that’s the great thing about America. You or me can just walk up to any other standard-issue Average Joe in Wall Street or the snake-oil industry, and make ourselves at home.

I don’t know any other country where I could just, you know, walk in, and have a beer with my buddies like we were old friends or something!

Hm! No wonder the freakin’ liberals want to change that, and make some sort of…

Well, anyway. As we’re all good friends here, just you swear YOU won’t call ME ‘white.’ Then I promise I’ll try not to call you ‘black!’

OK? Deal, bro? No jive, yeah? Check it! ^______^

Because, my good friends, if you childishly insist on making this about race, I swear, I’ll just never find a way to avoid unnecessary conflict and disagreement! ~______~

So instead, if we all decide to be, you know, just regular guys (and normal standard-issue homo sapiens ones at that!), it’ll all work out fine in the end.

Later, Reverend Al Sharpton commented on Bush’s warmly patronising monologue:

You got the powercut to your head, son? Nobody is ‘just human,’ until we are ALL treated as equal human beings!

Bush was uncustomarily dismissive.

Wow! That dude is just so damn pedantic. Good old standard-issue folks like me shouldn’t have to put up all this intellectualising.

I mean like I said, I’m just a regular guy. Just like all my fellow straight male Anglo-Saxon buddies here in the GOP!

Further reading on failed GOP establishment and quasi-estabishment reachouts:

http://glossynews.com/society/201510150322/rand-paul-black-lgbt-folks-should-just-try-another-bus/

http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201508130711/jeb-bush-blunder-on-immigration-and-reconciliation/

http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201408250145/rand-and-rev-al-share-the-pie-equally-dems-and-reps-unimpressed/

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This post was written by

- who has written 356 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter) wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

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