Posted in Entertainment

New Look Glossy News!

I hope you all like the new look Glossy News! Our refurbishment is nearly over: take a look again! www.glossynews.com Still a few things to tidy up, but we hope you’ll agree it looks a whole lot better…

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Posted in Politics Society

Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!

BIDEN 2020: FIRST SEXUALLY QUESTIONABLE PRESIDENT? Serial groper and wildcat Juncker’s sciatica handyman Joe ‘Creepy Uncle Joe Biden’ has just recently announced a bid for the presidency, despite a history of sexual misdemeanours which leaves but little daylight between him…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Five Uncomfortable Truths About Power… SHARE IF YOU DARE!

ANY SOCIETY WEAK ENOUGH TO BE DESTROYED BY THE TRUTH, WILL NEVER BE STRONG ENOUGH TO BE PRESERVED BY A LIE. IF A COUNTRY IS FEEBLE ENOUGH TO BE DESTROYED BY THE TRUTH, THEN ITS DESTRUCTION IS NO LOSS TO…

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Posted in Politics World News

Middle Earth Question Time: Jez Saruman Believes All Lives Matter!

Mr Saruman, will you condemn the mass atrocities of Mordor? I condemn ALL indiscriminate mass murder of innocent civilians, whether perpetrated by Mordor, or by Gondor, or by anyone else in Middle Earth. But nobody mentioned Gondor. Well yes, funny…

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Posted in Crime World News

“CRIME ISN’T A COLLUSION!” Trump & Giuliani Defend Bolsonaro Assassination Epidemic!

WHO IS BEHIND THE EPIDEMIC OF MISSING JOURNALISTS IN BRAZIL?! The mainstream media are blaming their country’s new leader, Jair Bolsonaro. Alleging that the mysterious disappearances have been directly commissioned, Putin-style, by the flamboyantly irritable Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro, the…

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Posted in Politics Society World News

Libertarians & GOP Demand MASS REVOLT Against UN Human Trafficking Laws!

HOW IS MUCH IS ONE LIFE REALLY WORTH?! Well, I guess we’re about to find out! Republicans and the Libertarian Party have staged a mass revolt against the UN 2019 human trafficking report. The Executive Director for the United Nations…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

READ NOW! 10 Politically Incorrect Truths They Never Taught You in School…

THE MEANING OF LIFE There are only three tasks we have here on earth.To suffer, to grow, and to relieve the suffering of others.Anyone who says otherwise is deceiving you, whether they know it or not. GOOD INTENTIONS ARE NOT…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

BIG OIL OVERJOYED! 10 American Air Force Pilots Hanged for Collateral Damage

CNN, Fox News and MSNBC are currently rejoicing, as a steady torrent of excitable news broadcasts jubilantly proclaim to us all that the long-enduring myth of a ‘lack of accountability’ for American foreign policy is finally dead and buried. How…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

DOWN WITH HATE SPEECH! Bipartisan Bill Finally Makes US Corporations Protected Class

The notoriously divided America of today has many disputes and disagreements, whether it be border security, the climate crisis or social media conflict by liberal snowflakes and conservative trolls. But if there’s one thing the Republican and Democrats can agree…

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Posted in Politics Society

Gay Old Party Strikes Again! Auntie Lindsey 2020, the Closet Choice! (Ted Haggard Guest Post)

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Our occasional guest contributor, Ted ‘I Know What You Did Last Night’ Haggard has provided us with one of the saltiest, spiciest lil old hot takes we’ve had in a while here at Glossy News! Enjoy! WOOP…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Oath to Inner Freedom!

PEACE WITHIN, FREEDOM EVER OUTWARDS Swear with me: From this day forth, I solemnly swear by the name of the best within us, I will not let the powers of this world consume me with fear, with rage, with bitterness,…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Deglobalisation is Not Enough: The Death of the Nation-State is Next!

Europe will still exist, even if we leave the EU. Europe is eternal. We will ALWAYS be part of Europe Well, yes. Of course! And… How much is it going to blow your mind if I told you the same…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Deceiving the Green Movement: AOC is a Trojan Horse Who Offers Nothing New!

Do Exxon-Mobil have a right to choose? Are environmentalists all just radical anti-choice bigots? Not a joke. Let’s have a look at plastic environmentalist Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the hysterically visionary Barack Obama 2.0 2020! Green New Deal” trojan horse apologist and…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Nobody Needs Sex… Everybody Needs Physical Intimacy!

The more I come to understand autistics, on a very individual level, the more I am convinced of an old suspicion. Nobody on earth NEEDS sex. But everyone benefits from basic physical intimacy.

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

NOT SATIRE: Three Formal Verse Poems!

Let’s take a break from the lighter stuff… The Painter of Apocalypse

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Posted in Human Interest Society

The Knives of Athenry: A Far from Humorous Satire on ‘The Fields of Athenry’ (NSFW)

By a lonely Irish ward, I heard an infant wailing “Mammy, they said they’re taking me away, For the people repealed the 8th To be cut in pieces is my fate Mammy, save me, or I’ll never see the light…

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Posted in Top Stories

Foolish Walter & his Loving Oak: A Parable of Ecocide and Homicide

Cold was the evening, Chill was the wind, Dull the foreboding The forest stumbling in! Old was the tree Rotten were the branches Foul-mossy was the trunk To Walter the assassin! Oh, useless, tree! The farmer muttered bitter No use…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Random Thoughts (XVII): Alt-Islam, Alt-Right, Alt-Europe!

It’s time to get some more hard-hitting, punching commentary! So if you have any thoughts of your own, on any topic, you know what to do! Christians, Atheists and Islam I don’t really agree with the New Atheist movement or…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

Forget the Man in the High Castle, there’s Only One Game in Town for Edgy Alt-History Novels of WWII!

I’ve recently done two chapters bundles of my gripping alternative history novel, Auschwitz in Essex: see bundle 1 and bundle 2 on Patreon. AUSCHWITZ IN ESSEX. CHAPTER 1: London is Worth a Mass. The moon shone glumly over the lonesome…

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Posted in World News

NUTTER CORBYN & Creepy Labour Sidekicks Respond to Resurgent Irish Terror Epidemic… But How?!

Fresh from his usual wreath-laying and rampant whataboutery-storms, Jeremy ‘Jihadi Jez‘ Corbyn and Red Ken (or should it be black flag Ken?!) have provided some helpful advice to help to do some damage control… Now that the IRA are trying…

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