Author: rfreed
Astronauts Bitch About Having to Work on Christmas Eve
Astronauts having to install a coolant pump outside NASA’s International Space Station on Christmas Eve had a few choice words about their employers. “I thought once you had a government job you never had to work on holidays again. Bull%&$#!!!”…
Oil Companies Have Reversed Idea Of The Spirit Of Christmas
Oil companies, some of the wealthiest entities on earth, have somehow a skewered idea of what Christmas is supposed to be about. This is due to their RAISING the price of gasoline for the holiday week instead of in the…
A Return To ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’
A RETURN TO TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring we were all totally soused. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care with the kids…
Santa Gives China High-Sulfur Coal for Being Bad
Santa isn’t pulling any punches this Christmas. China was bad. REAL bad. Executing thousands of people for economic, social, political, drug crimes. Then selling their organs. Making the families of the deceased pay for the bullets. Oppressing Tibetans and Uighurs…
Theory Universe Just A Hologram “Really Messes With Peoples Heads”
An article in the Huffington Post (Science section, Dec. 12) titled ‘Is The Universe A Hologram? Physicists Say It’s Possible’ is causing queasiness amongst many in the world, especially those in a perpetual state of pot induced highness. Our intrepid…
Uncle Truly Astonished by Nephew Kim Jong Un’s Surprise Party
Jang Song Thaek, second top gun in the North Korean Political Machine and uncle to the countries President Kim Jon Un, was truly astonished at the surprise party his nephew had for him on Tuesday. “This is amazing!’ stated Jang,…
Warming Arctic Ocean Causes Santa To Move Operations To South Pole
Old Nick has been having a hard time of it. His North Pole sweat shops, …er…, workshops have been becoming wet-shops due to the the melting of the sea ice of the arctic. “It has just become impossible! I have…
GlossyNews Hire Writers Who Wrote Text Over Jong Un Uncle’s Execution
Glossy News is viciously striving to beat all the other spoof news websites fighting tooth and nail to hire the writer who wrote the fiery rhetoric slamming North Korea’s President’s Jong Un’s uncle on national news. The former second in…
Sheldon- The Gold Standard For Geekdom
Words alone cannot describe the wonderfulness of Sheldon Cooper. The main star of the television series ‘The Big Bang Theory’ has set the new bar high for all those nerdists who will surely follow in his footsteps hereafter. He is…
Holidays Aside – It’s Time For Blonde Suicide Bomber Jokes
Forget the overly cheery Christmas carols, the endless gift shopping and the eye strainingly gaudy seasonal decorations. Cheery days aside, the world is falling apart. In that spirit, it is time for some truly low-brow, rude, raunchy and definitely non-Christmasy…