Author: Kilroy
Jack and Diane Embroiled in Bitter Divorce
Back in 1982 a little ditty about Jack and Diane went viral making them household names and catapulting them into music immortality. Symbolizing small town kids living the American Dream of the late 20th century, the years have not been…
Second Horseman of The Apocalypse Holds News Conference
The Second Horseman of The Apocalypse held a rare news conference at his estate today, warning that the Apocalypse Alert level may have to be raised. The Second Horseman met with the reporters arrayed outside the gates of his secluded…
Comatose Broncos Fan Awakens to Horrible Reality
A Denver Broncos fan who has been in a coma since 5 minutes into the Superbowl has finally awakened and close friends are unsure how to tell him what happened. According to witnesses, Tindell Higby III, a University of Colorado…
“The Night They Raided Minskys” Reviewed by a Guy Who Even Saw the Flick
Released in 1968 this flick could have been made today as a relevant retrospective to burlesque. The naughty nature of burlesque versus the rude routines that pass as suggestive stage entertainment today are in stark contrast when you compare today’s…
“I, Frankenstein” Reviewed by a Guy Who Never Even Saw the Flick
All I have to say about Liongate’s newest offering I, Frankenstein is “Oh, my Gawd! Who got paid to make this bullsh*t?” This latest robitussin induced nightmare from the creators of “UNDERWORLD” comes from the jacked up graphic novel “I,…
ill-Reputed, Reputedly ill Onion Writer Reported Dead
A highly respected writer for The Onion was found dead in near Fargo, North Dakota Thursday. The cause of death is still being investigated. The body of Kilroy Kovacs III, who went by the pseudonym “Kilroy”, was found in an…
Punxsutawney Phil Delegates Groundhogging Duties to Maringouin Mike
Citing career fatigue and the desire to sleep in on Super Bowl Sunday, Punxsutawney Phil announced today he will delegate his annual weather prognostication to longtime Louisiana business associate Maringouin Mike. “I’m proud to announce that Maringouin Mike will take…
Local Man Comes to Conclusion Neighbor is Just Plain Mean
After years of living next door to a man perceived to simply have an abrasive sense of humor, a local man has finally determined his neighbor is just plain mean. Mike Mitty, owner of Mighty Mitty Comics Emporium moved in…
Sean “Hey-Diddly-Ho” Combs Builds a Revolting New Station
Mere days after sobering up from an embarrassing appearance at the Golden Globe awards, Sean “Bo Diddley” Combs along with MTV VP Andy “Boom Shak-A-Lack-A” Schon have put together a revolutionary new channel called Revolt, geared at music fans. Revolt…
“The Legend of Hercules” Reviewed by a Guy Who Never Even Saw the Flick
The New York Times reports that it unintentionally ran a movie review of “The Legend of Hercules” written by a guy who never even saw the flick. The Lionsgate film which reportedly cost $70 million dollars to make brought in…