Author: Dave Martin
The Canadian Association of Political Satirists Says “Meh”
Canadian political satirists have apparently thrown in the towel. Mr. I. Ron Knee, national president of the Canadian Association of Political Satirists announced at a recent press conference that his association would be disbanding next month. “I guess, in retrospect,…
City of Toronto Press Office Issues City Obituary
DEATH NOTICE – The City of Toronto — The City of Toronto (known to her friends as The Greater Toronto Area or GTA for short) expired on November 14th in the Council Chamber of City Hall. The immediate cause of…
Obama Resigns… Almost
In a surprise announcement, Barack Obama has decided to step down. Foregoing the balance of his second term, the President will pass on the executive reins of government to his vice president, Joe Biden. Obama revealed his decision during his…
Oscar Snubs Silents This Year
Hollywood’s top silent film producers were shocked to learn that this year’s list of nominees for best picture Oscar included not a single silent picture. “After last year’s win by The Artist,” said producer Milton Oak. “We figured that those…
A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation
CHICAGO – The American Dental Association today announced a reversal of its longstanding position on municipal water fluoridation. For over 65 years, fluoride has been recognized by the ADA as an effective prophylactic in the fight against cavities. But recent…
“Weekly Gleaner” Implements Literal, Physical Paywall
PINE RAPIDS, Iowa – Having experienced yet another money-losing quarter, the Pine Rapids Weekly Gleaner has decided to follow the lead of such papers as the New York Times and implement a paywall. “Let’s face it,” said Editor Dwight Turnbull….
Un-Named Elf Leaks Obama Santa Letter
NORTH POLE – One of Santa’s right-leaning elves has reportedly leaked a letter to Santa from one of his most famous correspondents: Dear Santa, Thanks again for giving me that big white house four years ago. To be honest, that
Neighbors Amicably Resolve Fence Dispute
MAPLEVIEW, OHIO – In a rare event, two Mapleview citizens have resolved their fence dispute without resort to violence, litigation or letters to the editor. Myron Beaver and Stew Lansing, longtime neighbors, were engaged in what could have been a…
Fiscal Cliff More Popular than Niagara Falls
It’s official. The Fiscal Cliff has overtaken Niagara Falls as America’s favorite tourist destination. District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray was delighted to announce that his city is home to the newest Washington attraction. “Given that we’ve got all those…
Large-eyed Child Gets Surgery
Eleven-year-old Olivia Miller of Gopher’s Gulch, Nebraska recently underwent delicate eye-reduction surgery in order to save her life. “We are all so grateful,” said Olivia’s mother. “For years, her eyes were bigger than her stomach and she insisted on putting…