Author: Brian White
Triple Negative Grocer Doesn’t Not Have No Bananas Today
Jerome Heywood, a green grocer working in Poughkeepiee, New York, has two conundra on his hands. First is the quantity of bananas he has available, but second and more importantly, is conveying this number to his befuddled customers. “It’s not…
Romney Admits He “Doesn’t Actually Know” What an Apology Is
Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney was stopped dead in his tracks on the campaign trail by a freelance writer from Teen Times who asked, “Governor Romney, do you actually know what an apology is?” The former governor looked stunned and stammered…
Mitt Romney Promises Unemployment to 11 Million Americans
Here’s the gist of it. Romney claims there are 23 million unemployed and swears that he will create only 12 million new jobs. That is fact. He literally promises that 11 million people will remain jobless under his administration. If…
The Rumble: Stewart vs. O’Reilly… Stewart Won
This wasn’t the most anticipated pay-per-view event of the year, but it was big enough to crash the livestream servers. Sure it was only $5 a pop, but half the money went to charity, and at the end of the…
iPosture: Junk Gadget and Total Ripoff
Earlier this year my wife saw a clever gadget on television. It’s called the iPosture; a button-sized gizmo that promises to correct your posture with a quiet, subtle vibrating reminder. The only problem is that it’s a massive ripoff. We…
Nine Foods to Eat to Prevent a Hangover
You know how it is when you’ve had too much to drink. You want anything you can find to counteract the poison, so you do anything you can to feel better. Or do you? But there are actual things you…
Nine Technologies Our Kids Will NOT Use in the Future
With all the talk of the future and what it will bring, there is some question as to what the future might mean to you, our dear readers. For example, did you know that in the future wheat will actually…
Top-11 Reasons Barack Obama Will Win the Election
As the election season winds down, the one thing that is clear is that the pseudo muslim usurper, Barack Hussein Obama, is going to walk away with this election handily. But many looking at this election from the outside don’t…
Study Reveals Commitment Desire from Male Subjects
A recent study from the New England Journal of Medicine reveals what some men, and one man in particular, is thinking when it comes to commitment and relationship. The particular subject was a man in his 20s when the study began, but even as the study progressed, his persistence continued.
Top-12 Reasons Mitt Romney Will Win the Election
With the election heating up and the polls wiggling more and more every day (in favor of Barack Obama), we have to look ever more closely at the race. The good news is that, at least according to a couple…