Author: Bargis Tryhol
Michelle Obama Wins Big Ass Award
HOLLYWOODLAND, California (GlossyNews) — Just a few weeks ago at the annual televised ‘Celebrity Judging Show,’ critics awarded President Barack Hussein Obama’s wife, Michelle, the coveted ‘Really Big Ass of the Year’ award. Hundreds of Hollywood’s elite gathered at a…
Blind Lesbians Cause Riot at Local Market
ANANAPOLIS, Maryland (GlossyNews) — What started out as a simple educational outing for a group of sight impaired lesbians from the local Helen Keller Institute for the Blind, ended up with almost all of the women being herded into paddy wagons…
Pelosi Vows to Shorten Abortion Waiting Period to a Year
CHICAGOLAND, Illinois (GlossyNews) — With the advent of National Socialized Medicine, Democratic supporters squeaked in a provision that allows free abortions upon demand for any women who desires one. Cited as free choice and a right of all women, the…
UK Govt Report: 9 Out of 10 Males Are Gay, or Plan to Be
BIRMINGHAM, United Kingdom (GlossyNews) — By all accounts Treavor Slaughter should be an a ladies man with girls rushing up to him every moment as he enters his first year in the university….But things are different today in the UK….
Telescope Reveals Remains of Alice Kramden on Lunar Surface
Houston, TX – GlossyNews.com – Scientists released information, along with a Top Secret report, about the discovery of human remains dressed in what appears to be a yellow house dress. The remains were spotted laying in the open on the…
Dems Cope w/ Mid-Term Electile Dysfunction – Viagra In Short Supply
Webster’s Dictionary recently added a new phrase that pretty much sums up the problems facing the Democratic Party today as the important mid-term elections roll ever closer. Eloquently said, the new phrase has captured the imagination of conservative pundits as…
Pelosi Plans Grand Canyon Sale to Chinese to Balance Budget
Washington, DC – (Glossy News Exclusive!) In a shocking turn-around for American taxpayers seeking debt relief, Treasury officials announced a sweeping step-by-step plan to eliminate the nation’s debt held by foreign governments. Secretary Paulus Franks gave reporters details on the…
Pelosi Rampant Blinking Deciphered As Secret Code To UFO Mothership
Agents at the NSA have finally broken an ultra secret code that has thwarted the intelligence agency for almost 25 years. The suspect breach of national security was discovered during a Congressional speech that was televised in 1985. The 45…
Young Boy’s Wish Granted; Becomes Oscar Meyer Weiner
Rogersville, TN – GlossyNews.com – Little Johnny Krebbs loved to sit around his rural Rogersville home like any other kid daydreaming and making wishes. He wished for a puppy. Other times he wished for a new bicycle, but it wasn’t…
Scientists Awarded Large US Grant to Make World 3-D
Faced with rising public clamor for more 3-D products, US researchers at federal facilities have pressed hard to deliver the world in full, three dimensional viewing. Invigorated by a recent grant of over $100 billion dollars, head scientists feel they…