Month: March 2015
Blair Warns Germany: Stop Apologizing for Mass Atrocities (2/2)
Welcome back! No, look, look, let’s cut to the chase. This is a textbook example of deliberate smear tactics! A cynical, malicious, orchestrated campaign of personal vilification against some admittedly somewhat fallible individuals… Who somehow, God forbid, DARED to presume…
Blair Warns Germany: Stop Apologizing for Mass Atrocities (1/2)
Tony Blair has recently made some perfectly reasonable and convincing revisionist comments on the mass atrocities committed in Germany in the 1930s and 1940s. Well, when I say “perfectly reasonable and convincing,” that’s a bit of a stretch, but I’m…
Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin
NEW YORK – Guido da Vinci had always wondered how there could so much extra virgin olive oil in supermarkets across the world. “I mean wherever I went in the world, I could find extra virgin olive oil. A lot…
College Student Sues Toyota For Tinnitus
Stevens Point, Wisconsin—Tinnitus is a condition that causes a ringing in the ears. Nearly 1 out of every 10 Americans suffer from tinnitus. Though severity of the noise is on a case-by-case basis, tinnitus has been known to cause people…
Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (2/2)
Earlier, President Obama introduced his plan to expand the International Community. He briefly and compassionately considered Palestine, Vatican City, the future Greater Israel, China, Japan, Russia, EU, India… But none of them meet the high standards of the Global Village…
Obama/Bush’s 1000-fold Expansion of “International Community” Statelets (1/2)
Malicious and insidious recalcitrationalists from Glossynews and other disreputable non-Fox/-MSBC media outlets have been ignorantly and brutally ridiculing The Universal Interest. And it’s purely on these grounds, and not on account of any cynical or disingenuous motivation whatsoever… That President…
David Cameron Apologises for “Humanitarian Caliphate” Smear
David Cameron has been forced to make a humiliating climbdown, after incorrectly claiming that the Humanitarian Caliphate is an even better caliphate than the Daesh/IS/ISIS/ISIL/IKEA one. Calm down dear; listen to what the Grand Physician says… sorry, I mean, “orders…
Patronizing Miliband, Campbell Reach out to “Stamp-Collecting Community”
Ed Miliband has finally found a way to nail the election in 2015… Shortly after which, he will be himself will also be nailed up and flogged in the public square by the media every day of mourning and Twitternight…
John Kerry Finally Gets Around to Threatening Glossynews: Syrian Cooking Pots…
John Kerry has threatened the pitiful Unamerican/Uncosmopolitan “satire” outlet “Glossynews” with humanitarian annihilation, if we do not shape up. Read the transcript, and promise me not to laugh. This shit is serious. The illegitimate Glossynews editorial regime and its vicious…
(The) News (Really) Bytes – March
57 Republican Senators send a letter to the Iranian government stating that all of Obama’s efforts to create a truce between them and us is in vain because when they get back in power they will make them great, horrible…