Month: May 2013
Parents Hail Terrible High School Production of Hamlet a Pretty Neat Little Show
INDIANAPOLIS – Lacking the necessary analytical skills to objectively critique a work of theatre, parents of youngsters in a St Vincent High School production of Hamlet thought that the laborious, 3-hour show was pretty neat. Congratulating her son Ben on…
You Fancy Yourself a Poet, Eh? (comic)
Poets are bad enough, but the self-proclaimed poets are even worse still. Sometimes you want to challenge them, see if they’ve really got what it takes. Well this nay-sayer does just that with, well, unexpected results. I guess the full-on…
White House Administration consults with Department of UAV secretary Ryan YQM-98A R-Tern
Following a previous filibuster of John Brennan’s nomination to be CIA director, the Obama White House is said to be having closed door meetings with Department of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles secretary and well known developmental reconnaissance drone Ryan YQM-98A R-Tern…
Coscto Auto-Parts Offers Big Discounts, Bigger Quantities
This week Costco, a warehouse consumer outlet known for low prices on large quantity items, opened it’s first auto parts outlet in Kirkland, Washington. “People want low prices, and we deliver that with volume,” said division manager Marckus Baech. One…
Dumb-talking Girl Deemed Sufficiently Cute (comic)
We’ve all been to that party. There’s a girl there, maybe she’s drunk or just otherwise an idiot, and you just listen and listen as she prattles on about who-cares-what, because there’s that outside chance you can plant a kiss…
US suicide rate jumps; unemployment rate falls
The suicide rate among middle-aged Americans was much higher in the previous two months than the government first estimated. The suicides reduced the unemployment rate from 7.6 percent to a four-year low of 7.5 percent. The report from the United…
Kim Jong Un Steps Out Swinging As New Spokesman For NRA
In need of a new spokesman so fiery he can burn people with his tongue alone and can intimidate a whole nation, the NRA has chosen North Korean leader Kim Jong Un to replace the nerdy Wayne LaPierre as their…
Hipsters’ New Fad: Ducks (comic)
Presented in the proper light, anything can be deemed to be cool, hip and worthy. Hell, just slap a fedora on a crap-burger, and hipsters will embrace it wholly. CLICK THE IMAGE to see it full-sized. To see all of…
U.S. considers sending sympathy cards to Syria rebels
The White House is considering sending sympathy cards to Syrian rebels, officials said, but no arrangements have been made. A decision to supply sympathy cards would indicate a change in the Obama administration, which has resisted repeated requests to expand…
Human Really Impressing Other Humans Right Now
We’ve lived on this planet for thirty-five years now, and though we have easily adopted their mannerisms, assumed their practices, and assimilated their languages, we think it’s safe to say there are some things that we will never understand –…