Month: July 2012
Shocking Crime Wave Blows Across Nation
A terrifying new criminal is on the loose and officials appear powerless to stop him. In a small town in the UK an elderly gentleman was thrown to his knees and robbed of his newspaper that he had only just purchased. Battered and shaken he shared his shocking ordeal.
Being Attacked By A Horde Of Blood Maddened Zombies Is Not Fun
Hello folks. How are things going for you? That’s good. At the moment I am hold up in an abandoned farmhouse in the Midwest. I have it boarded up and sealed off as much as possible. I don’t do this…
The Nine Things Mitt Romney is Hiding in His Tax Returns
Anne Romney took to the talk shows to defend her husbands historically unprecedented decision not to release his tax returns. “You know, you should really look at where Mitt has led his life, and where he’s been financially,” she said…
Following Cannibal Attacks, The CDC Issues Zombie Alert
Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its first ever Zombie Alert, advising US citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in…
Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
Sigh! Jedi Masters just ain’t what they used to be! At one time they were of the caliber of Sir Alec Guiness, the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, a proven hero whose name had the extra fortification of being the same as…
When it Comes to Healthcare, Give Me Liberty and Give Me Death
America is the world leader in most important categories: #1 in nuclear warheads, #1 in citizens incarcerated, and breaking into the top 50 in healthcare. We don’t look to Europe for solutions to our problems because those countries are a…
Leaked Obama War Room Transcript: Baby, I Need Your Lovin’
The following is a rush transcript of a recording leaked to GlossyNews.com by an anonymous administration source who continues to forswear makeup and insists she will not challenge President Obama’s nomination. Our audio experts verify the tape has not been…
SEAL Team 6 Memoir Reveals Photo of Team Member Who Actually Shot Bin Laden
The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) History was made today when Cmdr. David Montgomery’s tell all book concerning the successful Navy SEAL Team 6 raid on the Osama Bin Laden compound last year made the NY Times best seller list. According to…
What Does it Mean When an Escort Has a Mitt Romney Special?
A Nevada prostitute has allegedly offered a “Romney Special”, but she hasn’t specified what this might include. We here at Glossy News take politics as seriously as we take prostitution, so we went undercover at several different cathouses to find…
The Long and Thick of It in West Hollywood
A stunned Hollywood is trying to recover today from the shocking news that hit headlines yesterday. As the rest of the world wakes up, the celebrity elite are busy consoling themselves and thanking God it is not them having to…