Boy 16, Builds Life-Size Anatomically Correct Girl From Legos

Seattle, Ore. (Glossy News) – Mavis Gillard almost fainted when she opened her son’s bedroom door and caught David Jr. with what appeared to be a naked girl in bed.

A first she wanted to scream bloody murder, but on taking a closer look she knew something was more than a little odd. The Blond-haired vixen was made entirely of Lego blocks. The form was shockingly accurate in almost every detail, even down to the blue eyes and perfectly square 36dd breasts, typical for women with plastic augmentation. Read more Boy 16, Builds Life-Size Anatomically Correct Girl From Legos

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Sarah Palin Takes Aim at Babs Bush, Fires the Crazy Cannon

It is increasingly clear that establishment Republicans don’t have much love for Ms. Sarah Palin. It is also crystal clear that Sarah Palin couldn’t give two rat’s asses if they do or not. In fact, she is going out of her way, it seems, to rile up every segment of society as much as her beloved, often furry, mama grizzlies.

Recently, Barbara Bush commented to fellow Jurassic extinction survivor Larry King that Sarah Palin loves Alaska, and then added that she should stay there. Upon hearing this, Palin chose to reload and fight back against what she perceived as “blue bloods doing battle against the red bloods and turning the best part of red, white and blue American into some kind of crazy purple haze.” Read more Sarah Palin Takes Aim at Babs Bush, Fires the Crazy Cannon

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Kim Jong Il Earns Enhance Nickname ‘Lil Dick’

North Korea’s bombing of a residential district on a South Korean island this past week has the entire world on edge to see what lies ahead. The United States is already responding to the threat while holding talks with China to ask for their assistance in dealing with the loose cannon that is North Korea’s leadership.

In particular, all fingers are pointing at the pint-sized leader of N. Korea, Kim Jong Il as masterminding the attack. Read more Kim Jong Il Earns Enhance Nickname ‘Lil Dick’

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Mitre Spins as Vatican Does Safety Dance U-Turn

The mother Church of Christendom was roiled this week by excerpts from a new book by Pope Benedict LVMCIII. The book, “Because I said So” has stirred controversy due to several passages wherein the Pontiff clarifies condom use.

Somewhere in chapter XVII of the lengthy tome, Benedict writes the following: Read more Mitre Spins as Vatican Does Safety Dance U-Turn

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Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black & Blue Friday

Traditionally, the Friday after Thanksgiving in America has always been known as Black Friday. This is a day when stores open their doors in the wee hours of the morning and offer the deepest discounts on popular items to give shoppers a break in price before hiking them back up to unattainable heights.

It is a day when shoppers will fight each other to the death over the last iPad or flat screen television offered for sale. It is for this reason, that Black Friday has now earned the nickname “Black and Blue Friday.” Read more Brutal Shopping Conditions Force Renaming to Black & Blue Friday

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TSA Announces Mass-Hiring of Gropey-Santas

The controversy over the patting down of children has prompted the TSA to hire so-called Santas to help with security. Now children will get to sit on Santa’s lap, and he’ll find out if they’ve been naughty, nice or have a crotch-load of explosives.

No word on whether or not fondled children will receive a lollipop or coloring book at the end of the maturing experience.

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