Category: World News
Millions Mourn South African Terrorist
JOHANNESBURG – With wails running free across the air, millions of grieving humans gathered in Sandton Square on Friday afternoon to mourn the passing of a great and respected national terrorist from South Africa. Participants interviewed expressed an almost uniform…
The Canadian Association of Political Satirists Says “Meh”
Canadian political satirists have apparently thrown in the towel. Mr. I. Ron Knee, national president of the Canadian Association of Political Satirists announced at a recent press conference that his association would be disbanding next month. “I guess, in retrospect,…
City of Toronto Press Office Issues City Obituary
DEATH NOTICE – The City of Toronto — The City of Toronto (known to her friends as The Greater Toronto Area or GTA for short) expired on November 14th in the Council Chamber of City Hall. The immediate cause of…
What Is Wrong With This Picture from Afghanistan?
Since the beginning of the Afghan war, the coalition forces have been having a hard time training and getting the loyalty of the Afghan police and soldiers they were training to fight the Taliban and Al Queda. “Why?” so many…
Kenya Defence Force Admits “Minor Borrowing” During Mall Siege
NAIROBI, Kenya– After weeks of denying stealing anything from the Westgate Mall following attacks by the al-Shaaabab, the Kenya Defence Forces have finally admitted they stole bottled water from one of the supermarkets. This came on the wake of the…
British Prime Minister Apparently Not Tony Blair Anymore, Nation Finds
WASHINGTON D.C. – During a joint televised address designed to highlight the special relationship between the United States and Great Britain Wednesday, it was revealed to the American public that the Prime Minister of The United Kingdom is not, in…
Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How
Since the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, Kim the third has struggled to establish what kind of leader he is. If he’s smart, or even just sagely selfish, he’ll open the country and become the richest man on…
Israel/Palestine Tentatively Agree to Two-State Solution
Our writer Barb Weir has been faithfully advocated peace both on Glossy News and directly to world leaders. What follows is an exclusive, and one provided to us on the strict confidence that we would not release it until the…
African Dictator Unveils Plan to Combat AIDS Epidemic: ‘Let Them All Starve’
HARARE, ZIMBABWE – Following an emergency meeting with senior members of his ZANU PF Party, longtime ruler of Zimbabwe Robert Mugabe unveiled bold new plans Friday to alleviate the country’s growing AIDS outbreak, declaring: “they must all starve.” Opting to…
Prince Charles Concedes Queen Never Ever Going to Die
LONDON – Rumors have spread that during celebrations for Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee, heir apparent Prince Charles has finally conceded that the ruling British monarch is just never, ever going to bloody die. Attending the festivities last year –…