Category: Politics
Democrat Employs Strange Tactic in Defeating President Trump
Dateline: WASHINGTON, DC, year 2020—The Democratic nominee has won the presidency, beating Donald Trump in a landslide, and has also had bizarre good luck, by employing an unusual political tactic.
Robert Mueller: The Knight-Errant who Tripped over his Lance
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Robert Mueller stunned the quarter of Americans who are intent on keeping their country from sliding down the tubes, by turning in a lackluster performance in his televised hearings before Congress.
O’Rourke Discovers Racism Exists
NOTE FROM WALLACE: Welcome, Jenna! Please share her story about one of the current presidential candidates! ASHUA, NH – Per an anonymous source, Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke appeared “smug and contented” after the release of his op-ed revealing the…
Are These Poems Strange? People Have Named Them ‘Haikus.’ What? Oh, Gesundheit!
Are these poems strange? People have named them Haiku’s. What? Oh, Gesundheit! Obama make peace, Progress with Cuba, Iran. Now will Hulk Trump smash. Immigrants sneak in, quickly come over border. Texas sink from weight. Heat wave hit cities, But…
Voters to Presidential Candidates: “Get Back to Work… You’re a Year Early!”
Everywhere, USA- Fresh of the heels of the first round of debates among Democratic Presidential hopefuls, and the “official” launch of President Donald Trumps re-election campaign, it appears the 2020 Presidential Campaign is in full swing. On the Democratic side,…
Senate Republicans Blame Dems for Failed Budget Negotiations with White House
Washington, DC- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) lashed out at Senate Democrats today, after his fellow Republicans failed to reach an agreement on a long term military funding bill with White House negotiators, resulting in a reported physical altercation…
Hot Off The Press… Oops, Census Citizenship Question Remains!
Washington, DC- Fresh off a Supreme Court ruling which temporarily banned a citizenship question from appearing on the 2020 Census, U.S. Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross confirmed to members of the media on Tuesday that the government printing presses had…
SPACE PIRATE PUTIN Dumps Nuclear Treaty with America… Trump Buzzing, Whole World Fuzzing!
Moscow, RU- On Wednesday, rugged Russian President and self-styled hyper-masculine space pirate Vladimir Putin signed a bill that officially withdrew Russia from the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty (IRNFoT); bringing to an end, the end of the Cold War. It…
JEONGMAL! Stans Sigh, Bumbling “BTS Buttigieg” Sharpens His Korean
Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg revealed today that he had learned the Korean language to better enjoy the music of K-pop sensations BTS. The South Bend, Indiana, mayor attended a recent concert, part of the group’s “Love Yourself” world tour,…
RUSH LIMBAUGH BLUNDER! “Drinking Toilet Water a Step Up For Migrants… & it Tastes Great!
Palm Beach, FL- Conservative firebrand and longtime hate addict, Rush Limbaugh, managed to get the attention of non-right wing extremists on Tuesday, when he made a series of potentially racist comments regarding a congress woman, and detainees housed at a…