Tag Archive | "republicans"

GOP God Caucus ‘Patti Smith Cover’ Proves Riot Grrrl Credentials

The GOP’s God Caucus, not to be confused with the voluminous and highly visible, achingly secular GOP majority (about 99% or so!), are keen to prove their feminist credentials once more.

Still, up to now, all their other highly conspicuous social reachouts (let alone their highly non-conspicuous socialist reacharounds!) have been abject failures, so hey…

What’s the worst that can happen?

But unfortunately, Mike Huckabee isn’t participating in the GOP cover version of Patti Smith’s Gloria.

Still, to give all due credit (such as such credit may be), he does think the lyrics are a little provocative and inflammatory, and he doesn’t believe in unnecessarily stirring the s*** in order to cause needless offense.

… As (not-so-non!-)recent events have undoubtedly proven once more!


Jesus judges all your sins but not mine

Socialists are all thieves

Shameless widow tuggin’ at our godly ol’ sleeves

Rebuking with a face like stone

Your selves are my own

You belong to me…


Read the full story


Posted in Music, PoliticsComments (0)

Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (2/2)

Last time:

Ok, so we’ve had the first Black President and the final Democratic President in one go. But our nation has never really had a final Republican President, maybe that’s what we’re missing?


How long do people have to wait? I’m not ashamed to say this is my idea…


Still, you don’t have to have an electric deckchair in your back garden, a taste for shooting innovative cinematic productions, or indeed a love of gunning the hell out of noisy ducks and whiny foxes and…

(No, wait, that’s my buddy Ted)…


No, I mean you don’t need a pretty damn robust Heath Ledger jacket, to know there’s something wrong in this country…


Something wrong in my country, when Obama is supposed to be the last ever electable Democrat, but our GOP candidates are not even allowed to celebrate our final ever Republican Presidency!


Read the full story


Posted in Music, PoliticsComments (0)

Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash! (1/2)

Although Rick Perry is not currently in power, some maliciously devious Vast Left-Wing Conspirators™ have unearthed a scandalous document which (they claim) could put paid to Rick Perry’s hopes of running for President.

The text in question threatens to derail not only Perry’s political career, but in addition, promises to ruin any hope of a legendary US President being elected in 2016…

Insofar as these two are possibilities are actually mutually distinguishable, of course.

It looks like the other main GOP candidates are turning on Rick Perry, and attempting to smear and discredit him. Talk about about a Vast Beltway-Mainstream Conspiracy™, huh?! Read the full story


Posted in Music, PoliticsComments (0)

Trump Slams Romney’s Pretentious ‘Business People’ Book (2/2)

Last time:


Not least because they can risk utterly destroying the personal reputation, or worse still, the business reputation of the person undertaking the purported hostile takeover in question.

In fact, that’s pretty much the only problem.

But it’s still a biggie.

Kind of.

Well, from a particular point of view, I guess. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, PoliticsComments (0)

Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates.

The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy.

The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out into the community eye is that each and every one of them is a surgically altered Borg. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (5)

Mitt Romney Admits He’s a ‘Douche-bag’

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney dropped out of the Presidential race yesterday stating that he was not qualified for the job.

“I’m a douche-bag”, Romney. “I don’t know what’s going on with the American people. You don’t want a loser like me for president”.

Romney admitted that his comfortable, wealthy lifestyle and wanton disregard for the poor and underprivileged have made him a poor candidate for the nations highest post.

“I admit I would be a pretty good commander in chief though”, Romney continued. “I wouldn’t mind sending young men into war or wantonly killing scores of innocent people. That would actually give me a tickle”.

Many other Republicans expressed relief that Romney has dropped out of the race. Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee said in reference to Romney, “he’s not God fearing enough. He’d lead us into war but I doubt he would push the nuclear trigger! That’s what I’ll do when I’m president. In the name of God and country!”

New Jersey governor Chris Christie claims he just doesn’t like Romney. “He’s a f(ricking) loser! At least now he’s admitting he’s a douche bag! Not like me! I’m a fat, obnoxious regular American! Like all of you!”

Most people interviewed agreed that Romney would suck as president and they would not vote for him. But they expressed the same sentiments for all the republican candidates. And democrats.


Posted in Politics, Top StoriesComments (0)

Certain ‘Forces’ Send In THE CHENEY To Take Care Of Lame Duck Government.

Eager to take over the U.S. government as swiftly as possible after winning major seats in the Senate and Legislature, ‘certain forces’ within our system have called on a specialist to rid the organization of its ‘lame duck’ elements.

Operating in secrecy, these individuals called in their ace in the sleeve for when things need to get messy- THE CHENEY. Read the full story


Posted in Politics, Strange PeopleComments (4)

Obama Apologizes For Post-election Hubris

Barack Obama has reportedly done a complete about face. Having encountered widespread criticism for the tough stance he took in his post-electoral press conference, the President has decided to take a more conciliatory approach with his Republican opponents.

“I’m really sorry about last Wednesday,” said Obama.

“The fact of the matter is I inadvertently switched speech texts and mistakenly brought along part of one about dealing with terrorists to the press conference.” Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Republicans Have Saul-like Epiphany Day After Winning Mid-term Elections

The day after winning a vital mid-term election that would give them a much stronger control of the U.S. Government, the Republican Party has apparently experienced an epiphany on the majesty of that which affected Saul on his Biblical quest to persecute the Jews.

Only in the example of the Republicans it will prevent them from smiting the Democrats. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (5)

It Turns Out That Everything Is Obama’s Fault

It seems as if Barack Obama is getting blamed for everything. The Republicans are blaming him for every foreign hotspot including Iraq, Ukraine and Israel.

Every domestic problem also seems to be the President’s doing, so much so that the Republicans led by Speaker of the House John Boehner even launched a lawsuit against him.

At first, I thought all this was overkill. After all, how can one man be responsible for so many things going wrong? But then it occurred to me: the Republicans are on to something good here. It’s kind of like the dog-ate-my-homework all-purpose excuse – Obama did it. Read the full story


Posted in Education, PoliticsComments (5)

Recount On Already Controversial Presidential Election Because Of Illegal Zombie Votes

A recount has been demanded on the already scandalous Bush/Gore 2000 Presidential election by Democrats because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote.

Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Republican campaigners accidentally (or, perhaps intentionally as the Left insists) signed up the living dead.

Being dead, zombies, as with most dead, can not legally vote. Also it is difficult to distinguish many Republicans from the dead to begin with. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Scoop!- Glossy Acquires Titles Of Future Ann Coulter Books

Ann Coulter, that famous extreme right wing author and the wicked witch of the North East That Baum didn’t write so much about in his Oz books is forever coming out with new literary tirades against those who, unlike herself, are not raised in families where you are constantly batted over the head with conservative ideals.

She believes that everyone should be like herself: demeaning, mean spirited, acid blooded, pale and fascist. Her main claim to fortune is the ability to every year or so come out with another book warning the world of how there are liberals around much like bedbugs in your mattress out to suck every drop of blood in your veins until you are a withered, dried up corpse, much like Ms. Coulter herself. Read the full story


Posted in Books, Newspapers & MiscComments (0)

Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan

Giddy with the joy of Christ at successfully legalizing state sponsored endorsement of dark age phobias and insanities the Arizona State Legislature voted to to change the State slogan and motto along with other state designations and affiliations. Read the full story


Posted in Politics, ReligionismComments (20)

Mass Murderer calls Republicans Soft on Satanic Values

Dateline: LOS ANGELES—In a documentary about the life of the infamous anarchist and sadistic mass murder, Max Truculence, Mr. Truculence criticizes American conservatives for being “soft-hearted, effeminate phonies.”

He spoke from prison, since he’s currently serving a thousand year sentence for murdering hundreds of American liberals, raping dozens of women, and blowing up three federal buildings. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (0)

A Low Point for President Jesus

WASHINGTON – It has been a tough couple of months for President Jesus in the wake of the problem-plagued launch of the government’s HumanKindness.gov website and continuing criticism of his efforts to address the issues of unemployment and poverty in the United States.

House and Senate Republicans continued to pound the president over the implementation of his administration’s signature Love Thy Neighbor Act, commonly referred to as Jesuscare. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

Robopundit Alex Castellanos Soft Sells Republican Anarchism

Dateline: PALO ALTO—Robotics Corp, a Fortune 500 company, treated reporters to a behind-the-scenes look at the manufacturing of their pre-programmed artificial persons for use in selling conservative policies in the United States.

The featured model is called the Alex Castellanos, which belongs to the company’s Moderation Class of automata. Read the full story


Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

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