ED: Does anybody like sick jokes? Or at least sick jokes about sick jokes? Well here’s a double bill of twisted Trump humor! Don’t forget instalments one and two as well…
Trumpisms 3.0 by Richard Seltzer
72
Impeachment is a matter of idiotology.
Republicans are making idiotological arguments,
And Democrats are trying to remove the idiot from office.
73
The five of us were playing cards
in a cafe in Kiev,
and Trump was wild.
74
Terms of plurality —
a pride of lions
a murder of crows
a gaggle of geese
a giggle of Trumpites.
75
Doctors told Trump he needed a bypass.
So he bought a construction company
and had them build one around Mar-a-Lago
76
Historians will refer to this period of American History
as the Muddle Ages
77
Sondland hired Socrates as his attorney,
and Socrates advised —
“Save thine ass.
Do not make thyself one.”
78
Shakespeare reporting on impeachment hearings:
“A quid pro quo by any other name would stink as bad.”
“Did you dance with the bribe-to-be?”
“Out! Out! Damned ambassador!”
“Friends, Ukrainians, lend me your favors, though.”
79
Nunez’ role in the impeachment hearings —
the witless confronting the witness.
80
Thanks to Trump,
the bald-faced liar
is now the national emblem.
81
Congress held a bridge tournament.
They refused to do the President’s bidding.
And the winning hand made seven
No Trump.
82
Trump’s autobiography —
My Life
as an Open Crook
83
Trump is hoping to become a lie-down comedian
when he retires from politics.
In preparation, he’s practicing his lies
and getting laughed at all over the world.
84
McConnell, Graham, Kennedy, Nunes, Jordan
all belong to the
follow wing
of the Republican Party.
But it’s hard to fly with only one wing.
ED: I’ve added a few wacky Trump jokes as well, just for skids ‘n’ giggles!
Trumpisms 3.1 by Wallace Runnymede
85
Trump is a real upstanding member of society. His member has stood up many times in private society!
86
Trump is the towering statesman of the age. His towers get him state favors from all over the world!
87
Trump said he is the Chosen One, and who are we to disagree? It sure sounds like SOMEBODY chose him! Nothing in life happens by accident.
88
Trump voters aren’t bothered he said he was the ‘Second Coming of God.’ The First Commandment says you must have no other Gods BEFORE me! It didn’t say anything about afterwards!
89
Trump is commonly accused of bearing false witness. This is obviously fake news, because he generally can’t bear witnesses at all!
90
Trump doesn’t lie, he just offers us a diversity of truths.
91
Trump only promised to drain the swamp, he never promised it would stay empty! You know what they say about high expectations!
92
Trump’s favorite Bond movie is said to be ‘From Russia With Love,’ but this is fake news. It’s actually ‘Live and Let Die,’ as Jeff Epstein found out to his cost!