PM Gordon Brown Runs Amok – Millions Feared Dead
A most beleaguered Gordon ‘Culpability’ Brown returned to the airwaves today following his previous evening’s TV interview disaster as he tried to end the annual New Labour party conference with at least some portion of the voting public and traditional…
FOX News Agrees to Add Satire Disclaimer
In a stunning turnaround, the allegedly “Fair & Balanced” cable news channel run by Rupert Murdoch may soon willingly add a satire disclaimer to their site, stating that all news is fabricated and meant only for humorous effect. The programming…
Library Scissors: Weapons of Mass Distraction?
Greater London’s Scumdale Hamlets council has apologised after a student was refused the loan of a pair of scissors in a library because she ‘might stab a member of staff’. Rita McScrunt, a 15-year old mother of three, had her…
EU Big Brother to Microchip All UK Pets
Now even dogs and cats – and likewise all British household pets – from the cuddly furry to the feathery plumaged to piscine and reptilian scaly – cannot escape the clutches of the Orwellian surveillance state. Under EU plans being…
Woman Labeled ‘Too Dumb’ to Marry, Though Technically Doable
UK social workers following the latest batch of the EU’s totalitarian Communist Federation regulations being imposed on this once-sceptered isle have banned a young woman from her own wedding in a ridiculous broughaha over whether she is bright enough to…
Kid’s Cold Hits Head Like Like Hammer of Snot
If ever I had reason to complain about something, this would probably be it. I mean, I would complain about it, if only I could, but I just can’t. I’m much too under the weather to protest. Still, I have…
Indian Space Probe Finds Water on Moon
A surprising amount of water has been found to exist on the Moon’s surface, especially so in the craters which have been discovered to contain muddy puddles just waiting to be drained and the liquid purified for drinking. Data from…
DNA Tests Reveal Hitler was a Woman
A large bone fragment of Adolf Hitler’s skull has been revealed as being that of a woman, according to the latest forensic tests carried out in the US by Princeton’s prestigious Institute of Advanced Guessology. The section of bone –…
“E-Coli Closes Petting Zoos” Says Captain Obvious
Parents should not allow young children to touch animals at petting zoos around the Southampton area of the south coast of England, a Porton Down germ warfare centre microbiologist advised a reporter from the Daily Shitraker amid fears of an…
Dems Desperately Seek to Cave to House Repubes [Sick]
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, head puppet mistress of the larger of our nation’s two great houses, may have injured a lumbar disc in session yesterday as she attempted to bend over backwards far enough for house minority Republicans…