America Goes to Pot: 1st Marijuana Cafe Opens
Portland, OR – The first public café offering medical marijuana in the United States opened in Portland, Oregon last Friday. Now instead of grits, you can get a side of real “hash” browns with those eggs. “What a great concept,”…
Halliburton And The Carrots, Holds the Sticks
Bogota, Columbia – In an unusual development in the strife-torn South American country of Columbia, the giant war machine known as Halliburton seems to be growing food. Over the past 6 months, on advice from a high-level undisclosed source, the…
Scholarship Program for the New York School Children
To paraphrase Aristotle, all people desire to know: who we are; how we know; how we should live. To Socrates, the health of the state depends on the knowledge and education of its individuals. To Thomas Jefferson, a democracy is…
Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road
According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really,…
CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture
According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan. Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of…
Obama Mastering Asian Arm Control
SINGAPORE, ASIA — US President Barack Obama shows every intent of mastering Arm Control Photo-ops (ACP-op) over Singapore’s PM Lee Hsien Loong, as seen here in our photo at the left. Once officially documented, Obama plans to continue on with…
Army Honors Pig War Veterans
In observance of of Veteran’s Day, Army Chief of Staff General George W. Casey presided over a ceremony at Fort Benning, Georgia today, honoring “our nations greatest heroes,” by which of course he meant the veterans of the infamous 1859…
Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare
The long wait is finally over for video game aficionados and those chronically addicted and desperate to get their hands on a copy of Call of Duty : Modern Warfare Mk 2 – the festive season’s latest release for a…
Grandpa Arrested for Calling Spade a “Damn Spade”
Has the E-USSR bestowing Big Brother Gestapo-style powers on the UK’s local council bureaucratic jobsworths and their PFI housing association gophers gone totally to their heads? Do you believe the adage that power tends to corrupt – but those of…
The Madman Strategy of International Relations
The lessons that can be drawn towards the current Middle-East Peace Process The nuclear alert was based on a diplomacy-supporting stratagem Nixon called the Madman Theory, or “the principle of the threat of excessive force.” Nixon was convinced that his…