NuvaRing Rolls Out New Marketing Campaign; Bare is Better
WHITEHOUSE STATION, NJ – NuvaRing, the world’s largest round contraceptive device, has seen its image go pear shaped owing to a dungstorm of lawsuits filed on behalf of persons who have died or have been otherwise discommoded while using the…
Virgin Mary Image Appears in Mex Meth Lab
Unconfirmed reports out of Mexico are claiming that a stain on a bench in a meth lab located in the small town of Arre Pentido bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary. Villagers from all around have flocked to…
US Revokes Citizenship of Corrupt CEOs… not really
The United States Government has started a unique new policy of retracting the citizenship of Corporate CEO’s and executives who believe they are above the law of the country. This has made an entire upper echelon of American business essentially…
Satirist Finds Fame by Hiding Numerical Code in Works
A satirist has amassed a large following after John Halpern from Okracoke Island, NC won over $1.3 million in the state lottery by cracking the numerical code hidden in an article written by Dominic Benjamin entitled “Octomoms Claim Numbers Don’t…
Fox News Searches For the New ‘Rwanda Effect’ Effect
Fox News, in its never ending search for more fuel to stoke its listener’s fires, has hired a crack team of psychologists, sociologists, media gurus and general psychopaths to help them find and exploit the ‘Rwanda Effect’. The Rwanda Effect…
Wall Street Builds Bunkers for Bankers with Blinkers
Supreme Court Ruling Says Bailout Money Can Buy Political Ads
The major television stations, i.e. Fox, CBS, NBC and ABC have all announced plans to drastically cut regular programming beginning in July of this year in order to make room for the onslaught of corporate-backed political advertising set to gain…
Schools Expand Zero Tolerance Policies to Include “Lack of Spirit”
Framingham, MS (GlossyNews) — Prominent public education leaders from across the nation called for an across the board expansion in Zero Tolerance policies in public schools today after a two week symposium. The leaders found the mandatory expulsion and suspension…
Avatar Breaks All-Time Gross Record
But still only covers 1% of the cost of the war on terror, assuming you back out the costs of TSA and other international – arguably needless and ineffective – counter-terror measures. After backing out those costs, the $3.6 billion…