GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting

BOSTON, Mass. – EBBQ – The range of the GOPTea™ party’s unrolling Veep list rockets from the absurd to the impractical, borders the impossible and suddenly flips back to the absurd — it’s an endless loop.

Will we get another Palin – Quayle – Kemp? What about another [gasp] Cheney? Who will finally match the power of Etch-a-Mitt™?

Shake, shake, shake your booty. Shake, shake, shake your booty.

One by one – in the manner proscribed by the GOPTea-President-a-thon™ – we note them as each falls by the wayside. Huntsman. Pawlenty. Haley. Trump. Toomey. Jindal. Bachmann. Cain. West. Perry. Cain. Trump. Christie. Rubio. Wanabe Santorum. Real Santorum.

Another lesser list has people who –get this– openly proclaim they don’t want the job. Daniels. Thune. Martinez. Ron / Rand Paul. Huckabee. Trump. Christie. Rubio. Marcus Bachmann. Maybe Santorum. Not Santorum. Then Santorum.

And the list of one who has never been and won’t ever be considered. Gingrich.

Romney has a 3-name list of who wants it more than anyone else – Of Course Santorum. And Marcus Bachmann. But… amazingly here, Mittens wants to be his own veep. Double down on the pay, as Ann has hinted they are running short on those bare necessities for the California estate. Ann would have run for the spot, but Mitt claims he’d rather have her in the kitchen, barefoot, making his favorite meals.

So, Etch-a-Mitt™ has gathered his ever-faithful staff about his outer edges, warning not to touch, and has gone into session considering which to pick from the lists of possibles. He has posted his 5 sons at the locked doors to keep anyone out who doesn’t belong.

As a side note, the boys themselves were considering a run for VP as a group. Mitt was overheard musing “If a man can have five wives, why not five VPs?” Unfortunately, a couple of Romney’s sons landed just shy of the 35-year old age requirement should dad not be able to meet his presidential responsibilities. Even so, it was an exciting prospect and may be taken up come next election year in 2016.

As for the serious prospects, there will be no long speeches by the contenders ala ancient Machine Politics to rally votes for their choice. Just the necessary quarter to flip — cull the list down to the final name. Shouldn’t take long to go through this list of names.

On a related family issue, Mitt and his wife Ann have announced that they will build their fourth home in the Pennsylvania Dutch country. The wooded site they have picked closely resembles their most favorite Thomas Kincade painting given to them by the artist. The house will have a matching 4-story, 12-car garage. Mitt and Ann are looking for an artist to paint in the new garage ala Kincade-style. Since Kincade is gone, they both felt they should be able to alter the painting to include the garage with no reduction in the painting’s value.

Ann says Mitt has a very critical artist’s eye when it comes to house painting. “He knows what he likes,” was what she said. “Although he drives me nuts when he keeps changing those pesky details.”

Author: BobZaguy

Gender: Male Astrological Sign: Scorpio Zodiac Year: Horse Occupation: Graphic Design Location: Chicago : IL : United States Wine and graphic design… inseparable. Interests Barflies & Lemonade Favorite Movies Anything with Paul Newman; sauce, lemonade, sex; not in that order. Favorite Music Classical Second Favorite Jazz Favorite Books Underworld–Don DeLillo Favorite Movies "I ain't got no favorite movies, well maybe just that Bambi"